Amani and Bob's Indian Surrogacy

Happy Australia Day, 17 weeks and vomit

2012-01-27T00:34:00.002+08:00

Happy

AUSTRALIA DAY

and

INDIA REPUBLIC DAY

Happy Australia Day to all me mates; come on Down under and we'll throw a Bot on the barbie and you can wear Little Aussie nappies too.

17 WEEKS

and all is well. This scan looks almost identical to Toby's 17 week scan. I am convinced we have a little boy. I am more than happy with that!

A foot. I see a little foot!

Toby has been vomiting all day : (( I have washed all his bedding, our bedding and two changes of clothes. He has been such a miserable little man, so clingy, and he cries to me, "Mama", and sounds like a bleating little lamb. My heart melts. He's not kept down anything all day, so I have him back on weak formula as cow's milk is making him spew. Fortunately he will do anything for a "Bot", but only a bot with milkie in it. I will take him to the doctor if he is still throwing up tomorrow.

Our doggie Amber the fat and naughty labrador has a mast cell tumour on her back ie cancer). It came up a couple of weeks ago and she is going to have it removed tomorrow. Please send healthy doggy dust and cyber bones as we are very worried about her.

HAPPY 2012!!!

2012-01-02T11:08:00.004+08:00

HAPPY 2012!

... and may it be full of babies

the diet starts now!

The Good News

Toby is finally well. He was fully miserable and awful until the past few days. Now he is back to his bouncy naughty funny little self. He was very clingy while ill, and would only go to mummy. Mummy had to lie down within for each rest, go to sleep with him, stay asleep with him, do everything with him. I got lots of lovely cuddles, but the poor little lamb was just so miserable. To make matters worse, two canines teeth popped through at the same time.

Toby is just going to be one of the 30% of kids who is prone to febrile convulsions. It's very scary but after two, and especially this last long one, I am better prepared and (kinda) know a convulsion is not going to kill him. So remember this post and if you child has a febrile convulsion, remember in the midst of your panic everything will be okay.

New Year's Eve

...was rather underwhelming, we went to bed early, way too old and ugly to be sociable these days.

The House

Those of you who know I have been owner-buildering the 100sqm extension on our house for the past three years will be pleased to know that it is almost finished. The outside of the house has to be painted - $20,000 - that can wait!!! But the paving is in, the Meg-laid lawns are down and the iron infills and gates are in so the yard is finally secured! This means Toby can play outside with his dog!

Some Toby facts

Pants. Most days are pants optional day - Toby is in pull-ups during the day now as he takes his nappy off anywhere and everywhere. My bub loves being in the nude. I let him go commando sometimes, the only problem being you can't always get to him before he lays one down.

Swimming. Toby went swimming with dad. He starts lessons this month, but already he is learning to kick his legs and blow bubbles in the water. He has no fear and on Boxing Day when the family was at the pool, he kept making a beeline for the water, and even got close enough to throw his leg over the edge. We need to drown-proof this boy as soon as possible!

Talking. Toby is a big talker. He says around 20 words now, he knows where his eyes, nose and ears are, and gives himself a huge round of applause when he points to either/or and gets it right. Sometimes we ask him to point to something and he skips straight to the self-applause. He can say A B C - aye eee eeeee; Ba-ba (Amber); Lu-Lu (our cat Lucy); car, broom broom; buh (bus); tah (truck); gone; star; bah (bath); doh (dog); mum; dah (dad); ta (thanks); hi; bye; wee (wee); poo (poo); Li Li (Alicia); and a few others I can't recall right now.

Posting. Toby loves to post things ... he loves putting things in things. We find potatoes in drawers, toys in the washing machine, sponges in the fridge; just lots of odd things in odd places.

Washing. Toby is obsessed by the washing machine. He gets clean clothes out of the drawers and puts them in the front-loader, shuts the door and presses every button trying to figure out how to make it work.

Antics. Who got into the margarine and spread it all over himself and the kitchen? Who picked the "C" off mummy's laptop? Who pulled his table and chair set over to the window and tried to escape through the window?

It's great being a mum, frustrating at times, but all the not-so-good times are more than made up for when a little face is pressed against yours first thing in the morning and you're yelled is raised by a little finger, "Mummy, wake-up!"

Make a video - it's fun, easy and free!
www.onetruemedia.com

12 weeks and all is well - plus Christmas 2011

2011-12-26T22:10:00.003+08:00

We just received our 12 week scan, everything is perfect, nasal bone seen, HR 155, amniotic fluid adequate, nuchal lucency 1mm, no obvious GCA. Phew! Now a whole month's wait til 16 weeks scan ... arghhhh!

Onto Christmas 2011 ... amazing that this time next year we will have a two-and-a-half year old and a 5 month-old baby, not to forget a 14-year-old going on 20!

We didn't do a whole lot for Christmas. Rather than travel interstate for family Christmas, it was time to put down some roots and start our our family traditions, me, Bob, Willo and T-Boy. Willo has just turned 13 and he walked in last week with a newly-blonded coif - OMG! - apparently he dressed in drag for his year 7 graduation and did a hilarious dance in front of the whole school assembly (1400 students and their families). He sure isn't backwards in coming forwards our Will.

William - clearly delighted with his Christmas Gift of a World Vision sponsor child from Ecudaor.

Santa photo Christmas 2011, poor bubble was too sick to go to the shops and sit on the red-suited man. His brother made a commendable stand-in, despite Tobo looking absolutely MISERABLE!

Boxing Day 2011 at Claremont pool

... the cousins Toby (18months), William (13), Callum (7), Turan (9), Aoife (4) and Elif (5).

Toby with Aunty Karen (mum of Callum and Aoife).

Swamped by Evil Aunties and lovin' it ... Amanda, Sally and Belinda aka Tombliboo Ooo, Tombliboo Eee and Tombliboo Unn ... yep, too much In the Night Garden

THE most evil Christmas present to give a child whose mother has a serious snake phobia. The thing hisses and moves!!! Bet I wake up to that thing in my bed in the morning!!! Thanks Tobliboo Unn. Yes, to the left of pic, that is a book called Dress Up Your Dog (Costumes to make for your pooch) ... thanks Tobliboo Eee!

MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL ....

AND TO ALL A GOOD NIGHT!

Another seizure ....

2011-12-25T01:47:00.000+08:00

Poor sick lil Tobo : (((

Thursday night our beloved son had another febrile convulsion/seizure (fever fit). This one lasted much longer, around 12-15 minutes, and it scared the 7*(*&(*&%^&^ out of us all. Daddy was home and so was poor Willo, just turned 13. What a horror for a young man to see.

Toby is okay!

It was just so scary, just as scary as last time, though I managed to hold it together (just), I did think my boy was dying .. again ... and while I know about febrile convulsions now and I know they happen to some kids and they grow out of them, shit, when you watch the most precious little thing in your life, the love of your life, lie on a couch his arms and legs jerking towards his chest every second or so, and his eyes open, slightly rolled back and focussing on God knows what ... you just lose it.

I called the ambulance after 3-5 minutes of the fit starting ... they took 9 minutes to arrive this time ... but Tobo was coming to by the time they got here. Mummy went in the ambulance to Princess Margaret Hospital for kids in Perth, and dad and Willo followed in the car.

Toby's temp peaked at 39.4 in the ambulance, he had an EEG, his heart rate was 169/140 ... we had four hours in the hospital under observation. Poor Toby was listless, he couldn't sit up by himself, he cried when they looked down his throat, and, again, he was naked and we had to catch his pee-pee. No infections detected. He slept on mummy's chest for a couple of hours, then he perked up and smiled : ))) He had a walk in dad's arms around the ward and he noticed the stars on the floor and pointed and said loudly "Star!' "Star!"

We got the all clear and went home aground 3am. I stayed up with little baby boy on her lap watching late night crap on TV just watching him breathe. At 6am, an hour after the sun rose, his temp spiked again and by then I was beside myself with lack of sleep and fear ... and I was terrified he would fit again ... he was so hot ... I woke Bob and we sponged Tobo down and he fell asleep in-between mummy and daddy.

We've been fighting the fever with Neurofen and Panadol the past couple of days. Toby has been very ill this time. He has been a cling-on koala. He has been attached to me for the past 3 days. He wouldn't sleep without mum, settle without mum, do anything without mum. God, I am so privileged to have this gorgeous loving creature as my child!!!

We went back to our GP this morning ... seriously, more so to calm me down than for Toby. GP says let it run its course, he is fine and no need for blood tests (I wanted blood tests, a at san, MRI and and a consult to a neurologist ...)

Tonight Toby had Neurofen at 7pm and he stirred at 11pm and he was lovely and cool, he went back to sleep. The fever has broken.

I leave you with this, so true .... and some Tobertron pics.

Merry Christmas everyone!!!

"Making the decision to have a child - it's momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking outside your body." - Elizabeth Stone

Light Fairy Christmas 2012 Light Challenge!

2011-12-21T17:26:00.002+08:00

It's onnnnnn!

Light Fairy, I've been busy the past couple of days decorating our house for Santa.

Check this out ... despite the fact the video is called the Cadger Dubstep Christmas House (a clever ruse on my part so you did not discover my plans and try to top me before the BIG reveal) ... I take you on!!!

I hope your plans for 2012 can trump my 2011 effort!

Disclaimer: Yes, flogged the vid off Youtube, awesome hey?

Hey Light Fairy!!!

2011-12-18T23:59:00.001+08:00

For Mike

love from the Australian Christmas Grinch

10 weeks and all is well

2011-12-11T08:19:00.000+08:00

We received a scan of Little Bubble last night. All is perfect, bubble is a little over 2cm, measuring 10 weeks spot on, with a heart rate of 148 bpm. Here S/he is:

In comparison, here is Toby at 10 weeks, HR of 138bpm measuring 10 weeks four days (I think he had a big head even then).

Not much else to report other than I have been incredibly busy with the house. The lawn in installed, and I have 20 plants to put in today : )) Ah, Sunday planting, apart from cuddling Toby, it's my favourite activity ever. Happy Sunday everyone!!!

Long time no blog!

2011-12-07T22:40:00.003+08:00

Little bubble

All is good. Little bubble was perfect at 8 weeks, heart rate has risen, measured smack bang on 8 weeks, decimal reaction adequate. We get a ten week scan this Saturday. CAN'T WAIT! Only 30 weeks to go.

House

I have been super busy trying to get this house finished before Christmas. Those who have been reading for awhile will know I have been owner-building a 100sqm extension on our little 2 bedroom house. It was meant to be finished before Toby was born in June 2010, it may be finished before bubble two is born in June next year. BUT, we have grass. I laid 70sqm of turf myself, pics to come.

Big bubble

Big bubble is great, he walks everywhere and even runs. He was a late walker but once he got his confidence, he just took off. He is big talker too and says around 15 words. He points to his ears and nose when asked, and then gives himself a big round of applause, sometimes skipping straight to the applause.

He's done a Micah Steph! Yesterday, out of bed after lights out and into the lounge room. I can just imagine the look of pride on Micah's face, having escaped and found his parents, because I saw the same expression on Toby's face, pure joy!. Look at me mum, here I am, aren't you happy to see me?!!! Yes, baby you're so lever, but it's not playtime.

Pics

Here are some recent pics. Toby had his first pony ride. He also went in a bouncy castle and went in a petting zoo. He met Fat Cat but wasn't impressed.

A few months old, found it on the camera. It's a hard life.

My little brown baby. That bad home haircut has grown out.

I have no idea where the curls come from!

Adore me.

Run Toby Run!

At the petting zoo. Toby made straight for the animals' water bowls, then the chicks. These children were petting a lamb, Toby was petting a little girl's face.

First pony ride. Should have seen his face when pony started walking. Woo hoo!!!

Practising for new baby in the toddler seat in new pram. Waaaaaaa! My baby is a toddler!!!!

Other news

I received the pics from the prof photo shoot. Yep, I bought all 21 pics, plus a canvas, plus a photo book, plus the usb stick of the images. I will scan my faves and post them soon.

Time for bed. Love and loads of baby dust to all.

WE HAVE A HEARTBEAT!

2011-11-13T20:35:00.002+08:00

Last night we received an email from Dr S ... "Congratulations, you have a heartbeat".

100 BPM, decidual reaction adequate, CRL 3mm - all on track.

One baby - we knew that from our beta level, and our 5 week scan that showed one lovely little sac. I decided to not blog the fact we had one sac - empty - no fetal pole, no yolk sac. Yes, I was stressed, and I Dr Googled, and I sought counsel from our surrogacy friends, who all told me it was way to early to see a yolk sac, much less a fetal pole.

You never stop stressing!

Now we have a yolk sac, a fetal pole and our tiny little bubble of 3mm .... A huge milestone crossed, but we know there is such a long way to go.

So, the results are in ....

2011-10-29T19:13:00.000+08:00

POSITIVE

Beta is 111 - 14 days post egg collection - smack bang on solid and lovely for a singleton. Phew!

When I was on the phone telling Bob, Toby waddled over to me and BIT ME on the arm.

I'm sure he knows and is not happy.

Tough love, babykins, you'd better learn to share my love.

One month down, nine to go.

I am still in shock, we never get pregnant on the first go, we always have cr*p happen. Perhaps the tide has turned.

In the two week wait

2011-10-21T22:21:00.003+08:00

We did well this cycle, 14 eggs, 12 mature, 10 fertilized, 10 grade one made it to day 3, 8 made it to day 4, and 4 made it to day 5. We had transfer of four blastocysts yesterday. The plan was to transfer only two, but two were poor quality, and not worth freezing. The reason we went to blastocyst is because we didn't want anything left over to freeze. If we get pregnant, we wouldn't emotionally be keen to thaw our embies, and would have to give them all a chance, meaning more children if successful. In the past month or so at SCI, 6/7 frozen embryo cycles with the embies cultured to blastocyst and given assisted laser hatching have given positive results. If it doesn't work, we will wait a few months and try again.

So now we wait.

Here is some recent Toby cuteness.

First professional photo shoot, 20 more pics still to see, bet I buy all of them.

At play group. I am getting some lovely artwork for my walls. Toby is very talented.

So cute in his smock. All boys should wear dresses.

At the park in his polo shirt and vollies.

Some Toby facts:

One week shy of 16 months and he still doesn't walk. He pushes his high chair, stroller, and his walker around, scuttles about the furniture and walls, hangs onto legs and walks with confidence, but try to get him to walk with you even holding one hand and he bends his knees then plonks on his bum and sits down.
He talks - a lot. He says "bu" (bus), "tr" (truck), "boh" (ball), mum, mummy, da da, ta ta (goodbye) and even hello. We only count words he repeats, or have context - eg. pointing at a truck and bus and ball when he says the word. Bugger the not walking, Toby is an intellect.
He is very friendly, perhaps too friendly. He eyeballs strangers and when they smile at him he waves and says ta ta.
He encouraged the beggars in Delhi by waving and smiling at them.
He is very happy - he laughs and laughs and laughs.
He eats - a lot. He likes medium heat curry, smoked salmon, anchovies, olives, anything spicy or full of flavour, he eats pretty much anything - except paw paw (papaya).
He throws his food on the floor.
He feeds himself - with his hands, and shoves large pieces of food into his gob, then takes it out and gives it to mummy.
He was seven teeth through, and four more half through - big ones at the back - the bottom right next to the front tooth has gone awol.
He still sleeps with his mum and dad in their bed.
He gives big sloppy open-mouthed kisses.
He has discovered mummy's belly button and loves to stick his finger in it.
He has discovered boobs .. mmm ... boobies.
He climbs up the slides and down the ladders at the local park.
He's just getting into In the Night Garden ... Macka Packa.
He sings, not terribly well, but it makes him and his mummy happy.

Lotsa eggs

2011-10-16T11:41:00.000+08:00

Count the eggs below - that's how many Dr Beena collected yesterday.

Now we await fertilisation.

It was really weird being at Isis yesterday knowing our dear donor R was in the next room (recovery). I wanted to run in and hug her, and I got all teary, I really wanted her to meet Toby and for him to meet her. But it's not allowed, and if it was, I don't know if she would be okay meeting us. Such a bizarre situation that the genetic mother of your child is one room away, helping you - yet again - and you can't make contact. I send our love and thanks through the staff, but it just didn't seem enough after what she has given us. There is a glorious palace set aside in Heaven for our donors and surrogates.

Today's the day!

2011-10-15T19:39:00.000+08:00

Toby and I are sitting in the lounge at Isis Hospital. wow, what a place, I can't believe the team got this together on three months. Incredible place, such high quality, almost makes me feel like having an egg collection myself, though that would be a waste of time. Bob has been escorted to "the room", Toby is having a bottle, and I am updating our blog, as you do., when you're in the process of making a baby.

Thanks everyone for your good wishes and pink baby dust. I have asked Vishnu to choose girl swimmers .. ha ha, he wouldn't if he could. We'll seriously be happy with whatever we get, if we are lucky enough to "get" ... it seems a bit greedy going for a second baby after we are so lucky to have Toby ... we have 15 follicles, about the same as last time, we just need one little embie to stick and stay stuck for 9 months.

Here is a pic of us at Isis .. waiting ... mummy and big brother Toby ... who is certainly thrilled with the prospect of a baby sister or brother: ))

Back to Delhi

2011-10-04T22:50:00.000+08:00

It's Super Tobes!

We're heading back to Delhi on 14th October. Just a quick four-day stay. We're trying for another bubble. Here is what a she bubble may look like ....

Toberina

Baby no more : ((

2011-09-26T13:32:00.002+08:00

Thanks to everyone for your support and care. Toby is good and we have an appointment on 11th October to see a specialist. There have been no temps and no signs of any seizures since, so I'm pretty confident it was just "just" a febrile convulsion. I have been watching him like a hawk!

Grizzle = whinge or whine

grizzle¹

to make or become grey

1. (Fine Arts & Visual Arts / Colours) a grey colour

2. (Clothing, Personal Arts & Crafts / Hairdressing & Grooming) grey or partly grey hair

3. (Clothing, Personal Arts & Crafts / Hairdressing & Grooming) a grey wig

[from Old French grisel, from gris, of Germanic origin; compare Middle High German grīs grey]

grizzle²

vb (intr) Informal chiefly Brit

1. (esp of a child) to fret; whine

2. to sulk or grumble

[of Germanic origin; compare Old High German grist-grimmōn gnashing of teeth, German Griesgram unpleasant person]

grizzler n

Collins English Dictionary – Complete and Unabridged © HarperCollins Publishers 1991, 1994, 1998, 2000, 2003

Mullet-free house

For non-Australians: The mullet is a hairstyle that is short at the front and sides, and long in the back.^[1] Often ridiculed as a lowbrow and unappealing hairstyle, the mullet began to appear in popular media in the 1960s and 1970s but did not become generally well-known until the early 1980s. It continued to be popular until the mid-1990s.

Here is a mullet from wikipedia - Year Five kid, poor thing, what a rotten mother to not only let the hair grow as such, much less let him out of the house for a school portrait! Sheesh, the things some parents do to their kids!!!

Toby had his first haircut

He is a baby no longer. I hate it. He looks like a little boy. Before you know it he'll be at school and then interested in girls, then challenging our anti-mullet house rule. I kept his curls and one curl is in my locket.

I wasn't going to upload this one, but after reading the Mikes' blog about the piggy bank, I decided to take the focus off sweet Eva and humiliate myself.

Note to self: don't give Toby a home haircut

Hey, at least I didn't use a bowl.

Terrified

2011-09-15T14:18:00.007+08:00

Long time no post. Sorry about the alarming title, but it is the only word to come close to what I experienced this time last week. This post has been in draft form for a week, I have only just recovered. One week later I am now looking back on the previous week and wondering why I was not more over the top than I was, and thanking God every day for my wonderful life.

Last Monday night Toby had a seizure. It was the scariest, most horrendously terrifying experience I have ever encountered in 44 years of life, so awful I cannot even find strong enough adjectives to describe what I went through.

Don't worry, Toby is fine!!!!

I want you to all go and Dr Google "febrile convulsion" and get informed, because I have never heard of this, in any of the parenting books, and advice I have from many parents. It scared the crap out of me, and had I know this is a common condition in children, maybe I wouldn't have freaked as much as I did (though I doubt it).

In summary, and you can look it up yourselves, a febrile convulsion comes on due to a sudden spike in temperature. It happens in children 6 months to 6 years, it affects 20-30% of children and is more common in boys. It is brought on by a cold, flu, infection or virus. In our case Toby had been well after recovering from a slight snotty cold in preceding weeks, and the docs at the hospital and our GP think it was caused by a 24 hour virus.

It strikes quickly and the lasting damage is to the parent

4.15pm - We put Tobo into his cot for a late afternoon nap. He was grissly, but he hates his cot anyway, so nothing was unusual. He had no temperature, he was cool to the touch, he was 100% normal.

4.30pm - Super Nanny left and Toby had a bit of a small grizzle that I ignored and he went back to sleep.

5pm - He woke and had a bigger grizzle, he was still tired, we had a cuddle and I put him into the "big bed" (mummy and daddy's bed) and he fell asleep.

5.30pm - He woke and grizzled, as he normally does. He was happy I busted him free from the big bed. We went to the lounge room, and I sat him on the floor next to his Sit and Spin Zebra, offered him a piece of banana, which he threw on the floor, nothing unusual. I noticed he felt slightly warm. We have had temps before, I do know how hot or not hot he is or should be. He felt a bit warm. I went to get some nurofen as I thought it was teething.

5.40 (ish) - I lay Toby on the couch, gave him 5ml of nurofen, and immediately his left hand started twitching. I was actually on the phone chatting to Chai Baby at the time, and said, "OMG, Toby is twitching, OMG, he is shaking. Hang up NOW!"

My first thought was that I had overdosed my baby. Then I thought, what did I put in the neurofen pen other than neurofen? It is actually impossible to overdose a baby with one pen of neurofen, Tobes has 5-7mg of the stuff, and the pen holds no more, but shit, the things one's terrified mind thinks of!!!!

By then Toby was having a full seizure. His eyes had rolled back in his head, they were open, but vacant, and his body was convulsing, I don't even know how to describe it, it was so frightening ... he just had waves of shaking go all over him, and I tried to get him to focus on me, but mummy couldn't reach her little boy. I seriously thought he was going to die.

5.41pm (ish) I called 000. In my mind it took forever for them to connect me to an ambulance, seriously, how dare they take time to ask, 'Hello, this is emergency services, do you require police, fire or ambulance". I do recall saying, "I don't want the effing police or fire, how can they help????!!!! get me an ambulance and doctors, and send them NOW!!!"

Connected to the ambulance operator, I had to give them information, but all I could do was scream was, "My baby is having a seizure, I think he is dying, please get someone here now!" Of course, the first thing they do is dispatch the ambulance, and then they ask questions, name, age of child, address etc etc., but that all took way too long, seconds were hours, as I sat there and watched my precious boy, who I couldn't rouse, convulse.

Within one minute the paramedics arrived, and Toby was just coming to. I cannot tell you the relief I felt, to see my little boy stop shaking and see his eyes focus on mine, and recognise me, and he let out a whimper and I knew he was back. God, that was the most precious moment of my whole life.

Tobes was strapped to heart monitors, and temperature takes and had a tiny little baby oxygen mask placed over his face. The paramedics were very clam, and they put him on a stretcher and we went to to ambulance. I don't remember a whole lot more. At soem stage I grabbed a few nappies and chucked them in a bad, but we left the house open, lights on, doors open, Screw that, come rob me, just don't take my son.

I don't recall the ambulance ride, in fact, I now recall very little of the whole event, one's brain has any amazing way of clocking out terror. I know I called Grandma at some stage, and she came to the hospital with Aunty Belinda, who is a doctor (thank YOU God!).

Poor little Tobes was subjected to much prodding and poking, and he was in the nude to cool home down. His temp at home was 38.6 and in the hospityal it was 39.1 ... and fortunately dropping. By the time Aunty Bind and Grandma arrived, mr T was quote indignant, laid in the nude with the family jewells on display above a pee cup so we could get a pee sample.

We had four hours of observation in the ER, and the doc didn't feel it was necessary to admit Mr T. She did, however, offer to admit "us" ... ie. mummy and Toby, due to mummy's anxiety. The ER was full, and there were no beds in the kids ward. I had a cry about making the decision to take him home. The worst thing in my mind was that I would take him home and it would happen again and I couldn't get him to medical help quick enough. But I trusted Grandma and Aunty Bind and we went home. We also decided to not call Bob who is working in Manila, as we knew he would freak, and come home immediately, and if there were no planes available, he would hijack a plane and order it to Perth airport.

I spent two nights on the couch with Toby sleeping across my lap. I watched all the crap late night TV and infomercials, and even Weather Watch. I refused to go to sleep. I had to watch him breathe.

Tobes has been to his GP and she gave the same diagnosis, febrile convulsion. She said it was most likely caused by a 24 hour virus. We have an appointment with a pediatrician in 2 weeks, and I will demand a CT and an MRI and a referral to a neurologist ... which are most likely unnecessary ... but who can take a chance?

Here are some more Tobo pics of great cuteness.

Mister T

2011-08-22T19:50:00.002+08:00

So much happening, so little time to blog. Here are some recent pics of Mr T. Crap he's cute!

Hey Vishwas girls

2011-08-14T08:01:00.002+08:00

Feed me sweets!

Happy Rahki

love Toby

Our toddler : Wow!

2011-08-01T00:07:00.004+08:00

When does your itty bitty baby become a toddler? I don't read the advice books on parenting, we take it as it comes, but I thought maybe Toby would be a toddler when he toddles. He isn't toddling, sure, doing a super fast crawl, and standing with one hand lightly touching a stablising surface - but you can't call it toddling.

Yesterday I consulted one of "those books" ie, the books written by people who tell you what you should do with your kid, how and when - how to tame them, how to discipline them, how to raise them et al. Pah! I get my info from Baby Masala mummy and the Tigerlilycats - been there, investigated it, abandoned most it and I get the you beaut tried and true methods of raising a little one - which thus far have never failed. Why reinvent the wheel? And said book (and a whole load of google searches for toddler) confirmed, at the age of one, your baby is no longer a baby, s/he is a toddler!!!!

Toby is toddler!!!

No way! I am shocked, dismayed, left wondering how did he get so big? Wasn't he just born?

I guess all we can do is embrace official TODDLERDOM!!!!, suck it up and prepare for what is to come, but has come all too soon. Don't let this super cute little womble in the pic below convince you he is a darling all the time!

The Kingdom of Toddler

by Toby Jai

I love food, on my terms. I grab food at any and every opportunity. I want my food, your food, any food, especially if you deny me what I want. You cannot and will never deny me!

I can feed myself. Give me that spoon, and if you don't I will scream! Don't bother giving me a second spoon to hold as a diversion ... I am onto you ... I want YOUR spoon! In fact, I want anything and everything you use cause it's gotta be better than what I am allowed to have.

You can feed me, if you must. I will take two to three spoonfuls, and eat them like a good baby should. Then I will demand the spoon, and the bowl, as is my right, and I will tip the contents of the bowl down the front of my Aviator PJs, mush the food in between my fat fingers, and rub food into my freshly washed hair, while you despair and try to keep me clean. I will go to bed smelling of dinner.

Sleep is for babies, I am no longer a baby. I will not sleep, not now not ever. I will only sleep if you lie beside me and sing me songs. I love Five Little Ducks, but will make you sing until 293,000 little ducks go out to play, because you love me and I am willful and I don't want to sleep. I will be cute and make"duck" hand movements and say "duck duck duck" and you will be so proud of me and indulge my every ounce of cuteness. Until you get sick of it ...

I will outlast your final ounce of patience. I will drift off to sleep, my eyelids will be heavy, my breathing deep and I might even expel a few cute little snores. You will think I am asleep and carefully try to sneak out of the room, and despite the fact I am incredibly overtired, and I am actually asleep, if you dare leave, I will become conscious and screammmmm!!!!! exhaling every ounce of breath from my itty bitty lungs.

I know more about the practise of controlled crying than you ever will! You tried that crap when I was half my age, it didn't work then, it won't work now. If you leave me alone, I know you are bound by the stupid book you read that you should only leave me for one minute of the age I am, even I can count that high. One. I am one - one minute mummy and daddy. I am actually 13 months now, so you can only leave me for 1 minutes and 3 seconds,without feeling incredibly guilty. I can and I will scream forever, one minute is nothing compared with my need.

I will play you against each other. I will scream "mama mama", take a break, change tack and scream "dada dada dada". You didn't know I could talk, did you!

I am beloved and extremely cute, but even I - the Tobymonster - will eventually pass out. You will tiptoe around me for the few hours or so, and if anything happens to disturb my sleep, I will scream and then you will come in with me, cuddle me and love me as I deserve.

Once I have you both in bed with me, I will wake up, fresh as a daisy - usually around 5am, regardless of what happened in the preceding 10 hours, you may be stuffed, but I want to play!!!

We've had a whole three nights of controlled crying. The results:

Night one: abject failure - finally passed out at 10pm

Night two: worked a bit, asleep by 7pm, whoot!

Night three: actually asleep after a lot of dancing around the bed at 8pm

Tough love is so hard! There is nothing quite as tragic as leaving your bubble to cry in a big ole lonely bed, in the semi-dark, sitting up flicking through a baby book all by himself ... baaaad parents!

Here is the pic of how he ended up on night one - passed, out, mid-crawl off the end of the bed.

Reason why you don't go to Thailand for surrogacy!

2011-07-29T22:10:00.001+08:00

Two couples who paid surrogate mothers to carry their babies face the possibility of criminal charges

Letitia Rowlands
From:The Daily Telegraph
July 28, 2011 12:00AM

TWO couples who paid surrogate mothers to carry their babies face the possibility of criminal charges after their cases were referred to the Director of Public Prosecutions by the Family Court.

The ruling, in separate judgments handed down by Justice Garry Watts in Sydney, came after the couples applied to the Family Court for parenting orders after returning to Australia from Thailand, where the children were born.

The cases are among the first to come before the courts since altruistic surrogacy laws were passed on March 1 this year making it illegal for a NSW resident to pay a surrogate mother, either here or overseas, to carry their baby.

Both families live in Queensland, where bans on commercial surrogacy were set out in laws enacted in June last year.

Experts said the judgments were a precursor for what will happen in other states, including NSW, where similar laws have since been passed.

UTS family law specialist Professor Jenni Millbank described the decisions as "very surprising" and said they would encourage parents to lie about their children's conception and birth.

"I think parents from NSW, the ACT and Queensland are now very unlikely to approach the Family Court for orders," she said. "Such families now have a serious incentive to conceal the circumstances of birth in order to present themselves as legal parents to government authorities."

Altruistic surrogacy, where the surrogate mother receives no payment beyond medical expenses, is legal in Australia but commercial surrogacy is banned across the country.

It is believed at least 300 Australian couples travel to countries such as the US, India and Thailand each year for the purpose of entering a surrogacy arrangement.

In both cases before the Family Court the parents had tried to conceive via IVF before resorting to surrogacy.

Both surrogacies resulted in the birth of twins. In delivering the judgments, Justice Watts granted each couple "equal and shared responsibility for the children", but he did not make any ruling as to whether either of the couples were the legal parents of the babies.

Professor Millbank said that although there may be concerns about international surrogacy arrangements and the welfare of surrogate mothers, the Family Court needed to put the interests of children first.

"The Family Court is often faced with evidence that parents have potentially acted illegally - taken drugs, defrauded Centrelink or dodged taxes, for example," she said.

"But they don't send all those files to police because their job is to assess each child's needs and try to ensure the best outcome for them."

s"I would suggest an order which exposed the child's parents to jail, without advancing their welfare, cannot be in their best interests."

OH ... MY ... GOD!!!

2011-07-27T23:26:00.006+08:00

The sooner Indian surrogacy laws come in the better for all. Folks, do your homework about bringing baby home before you start treatment, and don't break the rules!!! Putting a fake mother on a child's BC, what were they thinking??!!!

http://www.mumbaimirror.com/article/15/2011072720110727034425397d905d6d8/Indofrench-baby-trade-commission.html

Abhijit Sathe

Indo-french baby trade commission

French man, Indian woman booked for taking infants out of the country with fake documents; cops say it’s part of a larger scam

Posted On Wednesday, July 27, 2011 at 03:44:18 AM

The Mumbai Police is searching for a 22-year-old woman believed to be the key in a large scam involving the trafficking of infants from India to countries where commercial surrogacy is illegal.

Jennifer, a former call-centre employee and a resident of Chembur, has been on the run for almost a month after cops found that she had approached immigration authorities posing as the partner of two separate French nationals within a three-month period.

In both cases, she had claimed to be the mother of twins, who she said were the result of her relationship with the Frenchmen she was accompanying.

Cops now believe that she is an agent in a thriving racket involving local gangs, civic officials, and medical professionals.

The scam came to light when Fredric Morin, a 42-year-old accountant, came to the Immigration department with his partner Jennifer and two six-month-old kids, a girl and a boy, asking for an NOC to relocate to France with the children.

All his documents were complete, including a BMC-issued birth certificate of the children, which listed Fredric and Jennifer as the parents. During the interview, however, one of the officers suspected that he had seen Jennifer somewhere not too long ago.

“A police officer felt he may have seen Jennifer before. He thought she had come to the Bureau a few months ago as the wife of another French national,” an official involved in the case told Mumbai Mirror.

The officer took it upon himself to go through the papers of other such relocation cases submitted over the last several months. He discovered that Jennifer, whose photograph was kept in their files, had come to them with another Frenchman, claiming to be the mother of his twins, only a few months ago.

While the authorities let Fredric and Jennifer go, they started verifying both sets of papers, only to find glaring similarities. In both cases, the children had been born at Hiranandani Hospital, were relocating within months of their birth, and Jennifer had been listed as their mother.

Fredric was called in for an interrogation, in which he admitted that the children were born through surrogacy, which is illegal in his country, and said that Jennifer was just helping him out.

He told the officers that soon after the children were born in December last year, he had applied for passports at the French Embassy in Mumbai. His request, however, was denied on suspicion that the children may have been delivered by a surrogate mother.

Following this, Fredric went back to France and filed a case against his government for denying the children passports, and the local court directed the French government to issue passports to the children. Having thought that the battle was won, he was just completing the final formality of getting an NoC from Indian immigration when the fraud was exposed.

Since surrogacy is not illegal in India, Fredric was booked only for presenting false documents. After four days in custody, he was granted bail, and even managed to fly back to France with the children on the strength of the French court's order.

Jennifer, meanwhile, managed to escape before the Azad Maidan police could nab her. Almost a month later, she is still absconding.

Fearing that this is part of a much larger scam, the police are now investigating the circumstances leading to the birth of the children, and their eventual exit to France.

“It's a case that involves misleading birth certificates issued by someone in the BMC, the possible involvement of medical professionals, and the larger issue of Mumbai emerging as a surrogacy tourism hub, particularly for countries where it is illegal,” an officer said.

“We are probing foreign nationals taking advantage of our slack surrogacy laws. What they did is not possible without the help of a local gang, middle-men, and hospital staff,” he added.

When contacted, Clementine Gravier, the press attaché to the French Consul General in Mumbai, did not send a case-specific reply. “Surrogacy is strictly prohibited in France. French nationals who come to India to recourse to surrogacy put themselves in serious difficulties when they wish to return to France with the children. On humanitarian grounds, the consulate may issue travel documents to such children, on a case to case basis. Besides, where children are concerned, the consulate verifies their living conditions and their health.”

According to the Indian Society for Assisted Reproduction (ISAR), there were approximate 600 surrogacy cycles in India in 2009, and the number went up to 1,000 in 2010.

Mumbai has maximum number of surrogacy clinics, in which a couple has to pay anywhere between Rs 12-15 lakh for the entire process.

Sad

2011-07-23T22:07:00.003+08:00

I just don't understand this carnage. I work in a world of creation of life, yet life can so easily be cut down in a sickening instant of evil.

My prayers today, tonight and tomorrow are with the people of Norway.

Toby's birthday pics

2011-07-13T08:57:00.013+08:00

We're back home after five weeks in Brisbane. Bob joined us for the last two weeks. The flight home was torturous as wriggle-bum slept for ten minutes at the most and wanted to explore everything, including the contents of the service trolley each time it passed. At one point he was down on the floor trying to liberate the life jackets.

My niece Militza, who was 15 last March, met her only cousin on our side of the family for the first time. It was love at first sight.

Nanny - at 74 she's too young to be called Grandma - and her only grandchildren. You can see who the spoilt one is.

Mummy and Prince Toby and the cake.

The cake
Militza and I decided it wasn't worth making the cake from scratch as we had to buy $12 worth of cheap cake tins from Coles, when for $12 we could buy three mud cakes. Yes, we cheated. The cake decorating was a lot of messy fun. Believe me that roll out icing sugar isn't easy to use. You roll is out to the size and thickness you want, then cut it to the shape you want and when you pull it off the bench it stretches. So, I present to you, our very messy cake ... ah, it did the job... at least we tried.

Close up of the cake

The room
We took two hours finding the place that sold the icing and decorations. It was a mad dash to get things done, with all hands on deck. 50 helium balloon, armsful of decorations, and no theme in mind, we did an okay job. Next year there will be more planning involved, and hopefully our own home to decorate. Thanks to Honorary Uncle Roland for letting us mess up his house!

And some pics I like

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TOBY!!!

2011-06-29T15:48:00.006+08:00

Can you believe it? Toby is one!!!!

Actually, one and 10 hours and 49 minutes.

We are celebrating Toby's birthday tonight with close family and friends - only eight people - small, as we like it : ))

Toby's only cousin Militza is here from Melbourne, it's the first time they have met. Mitz is 15, and rivals Toby in beauty in every way. If only we lived closer. Bob is here after three weeks of separation from his son and wife. All is good.

My big boy is so big and grown up, no longer a little itty bitty baby, but he is so much fun.

Mitz and I made Toby a cake today, from scratch! My first-ever decorated cake ... don't give up your day job Meg. This morning I was going to bake a simple chocolate cake in the shape of a "1" - and decorate with with chocolate freckles and smarties - can't be too hard? Then I decided to go with a "theme" for Toby's party - all at the 11th hour, as per usual. We made a crown cake modelled on the thing I photoshopped onto Toby's head above. Hmmm .... I may post pics of it later.

Look at my big boy on his first bike - thingy - it's called a Safari Rider. Toby is more interested in pulling it apart. I suspect we have a little engineer on our hands, just like dad. Til later xxx

Surro family - need your help!!!

2011-06-04T12:47:00.003+08:00

Hi all

I did a midnight flit to the east coast of Australia because I missed my parents, have been ill for months, got sick of living in the crap house of never-ending renovation, dirt, dust and filth, and the flight was cheap! I've come home for some mummy/daddy love and care.

I am in Brisvegas!! Whoot!!!

Toby and I are staying with my mum and dad at my brother's house in West End. Poor Bob is stuck in Perth looking after the furry children and tackling the job of finishing off the house. I was offline til last Wednesday - but I now have internet connection and laptop.

I have a lot of email addies, but some are on my home computer back in Perth.

Can the following people email me at megansainsbury@optusnet.com.au so I can store your email addies on this computer.

Rakhan
Vishwas Boys and Girls
Kerrie, M and Alan
Kim of the gazillion babies
Hugh and Aria's parents
Allton-Nee Boys
Christmas Eve Boys
Davina
Megan G
Tanya B
Peter and Brad
Tigerliliies

The rest I probably have as you have emailed me recently. But anyone who emails me, and anyone who reads, hey drop me a line.

Gotta run, baby is destroying my brother's house. His latest trick is to gain attention by dropping all his toys off the lounge so you pick them up - again, and again, and again!

Brisvegas people - I would love to catch up. Drop me a line!!!

Meg xxx

four teeth and some 'tude

2011-05-28T14:14:00.009+08:00

Teefies
We are so proud, our little man has four teeth. The two top came through first, and this morning, the two bottom front. It's incredible how we get so excited about teeth coming through, we are so proud of Toby, not that he's done anything, just sprouted some fangs, and been horrendously miserable while doing it.

How did I get that last shot? Pure fluke, Tobo was lying back on his dad's lap and mum, ever-ready with the camera, snapped the pic, no skill involved. Well that tooth is 3-4mm down, the one next to it 1mm and the bottom two - slithers of white.

This is my life now, by biggest excitement is seeing my child sprout teeth!

11 months
Tobo is 11 months old today. How they heck did he get so old? And so big? Life seems so out of whack. It seems like yesyterday he was born. When you go through IVF and waiting for your cycle to start, then for your donor to start stims, then for your egg collection result, then your beta test, then your sac scan, and your fetal pole/heartbeat scan, etc etc life is on major go-slow. The people who get pregnant before you seem so far ahead, you're sure their kids will be in high school before your babe starts kindergarten. Those who get pregnant after you seem so far behind. In reality, fast forward 11 months, and there is not a whole lot difference in the ages of all the kids in the Indian surrogacy community.

Wow, how did that happen?!!!

I went through my pics files of the Tobester. Here's a little look back from June 2010 til now.

Here is one of the first photos of Toby an hour or so after his birth. Wow, what a blast from the past!!!

Tobo - 3 hours old in daddy's arms. My what fat cheeks and a big nose you have!

A tiny slip of a thing having his first mummy and daddy bath at Lotus Apartments in Delhi at 3 days old. I remember how scared I was bathing him, he was so tiny and slippery!

One week old in mummy's arms. Aunty Kara bought that outfit for you, a 00000, so big on you! Now Aunty Kara has twins at home, but back then she was just trying. Dreams do come true!

Three months old, in Nanny's arms. And I thought he was big then!

Toby eating - 5 months

Tobo talking - 8 months.

CHECK OUT THE 'TUDE. Our bubble ... the spikey terror, last week at almost 11 months.

Our little baby is now becoming a little boy. He is bold, confident, always on the go, and into everything. When he teethes he is cantankerous, miserable, clingy and quite awful. He scurries about the floors, and crawls onto everything he can, usually up my leg. he has already bashed through the baby gate into the kitchen and pulled it down on top of him. he is now tall enough to pull things off high places, as evidenced by the latest bruise on his forehead, in a matter of seconds I put the camera on the kitchen bench and he pulled it down and clonked himself on the head.

Lucy

Tobo's greatest love is checking out Lucy. He has his own sound to call her. When he sees her his eyes light up and he is there!. He plays with her collar, mainly the name tag, but has recently discovered the shiny coloured faux diamonds on her collar. He has started to "pat" Lucy. His fat little hands go bang bang bang on her head, and we say "gentle". hey, this kid doesn't know what "no" means, so gentle is something he does not understand. But in his own way, he knows he can't donk the cat on her head or she will run away.

Lucy is my 12 year-old kitty who came into my life well before Bob and Toby were in my imagination, much less my husband and son. She was a rescue kitty who was found in a box at the side of a country road out of Brisbane, the only kitty alive in a box of not live siblings. I adopted Lucy at four weeks of age. She spent the first three days of her life hiding under my coffee table, and the next three months of her life sitting on my shoulder. Fast forward 12 years, and she is still the most beautiful little fur girl in the world.

Now she has to cope with the Tobo. She truly is an angel wrapped in fur.

When life does not go according to plan

2011-05-21T16:20:00.009+08:00

We have a tooth!

We have tooth that can be seen and felt and photographed. This tooth has been a long time coming. We had loads of false alarms with teefies, from three months til now.

We are so proud to present a pic of Toby's very first tooth to erupt from his gums - top left - sharp and shiny!

Impressed? We are. But geez, this pic was taken 3 days ago, now the one to the right on the top is erupting, and this morning, the bottom two at front are through! When they come, they come. Poor Tobo has been a complete misery guts for at least a week. His little fat cheeks turn red, his face swells, and despite giving him panadol, sometimes he just needs Ah-mah, or Ah-dah!

Yes, he talks!

Tobo is full of bubbly bibbly boo-boo language, as any bubble of 10.5months does. But recently, he has actually been saying "Ah-muh! (mummy) and Ah-dahhh" (daddy). These are his first words. We understand his baby language.

Tobo is communicating very well, and very loudly in many ways. He has a lovely head thrashing movement from side to side that says, "No, no no no no!" he thinks it's pretty funny doing this, as he laughs is head off telling mum and dad no.

Other things

Today I painted the back bedroom. This was the old kitchen, and it has been used as a storage room for a long time. We got a new shed a month ago and put most of our house crap in that, but the rest was sitting in the back room, that is Willo's' room. Today I painted that room, first coat only. Will and I had decided on yellow. OMG!!! we now have a Spongebob Squarepants yellow in the back room!!! Seriously, it is horrendous. But it's only one coat. If we all hate it tomorrow as I am sure we will, we can tone it down ... more painting ... arghhhhhh!

The places we find Toby

2011-05-05T13:58:00.018+08:00

This post is dedicated to our little traveller. He is a super crawler, is crawling properly on carpet and grass, but the wood floors are too slippery and his knees slide apart, so he is still doing the grab and drag crab crawl. We had no option but to let him be a free-range kid. Toby hates confinement and screams at any attempt to fence him off from the world. He still has his Alcatraz - essential for any parent - it's a place to shove him when you need to go to the loo, have a shower or do something without a baby attached to your ankles. He hates Alcatraz, of course, he would like to crawl down the street if we let him, and while it's important to let him explore, ... the kid is quick, and it's only going to get worse when he is actually walking - which is not too far off. Perish the thought of twins.

Toby's midden. Finally he can reach all the good TV and computer things mum and dad get to use all the time. We are doing a furniture reshuffle so everything is locked behind childproofed drawers and doors.

The look of pure joy on my baby's face - I can reach the things of great goodness!

Busted, in the bottom of the pantry in mummy's old dance costumes bag. Yes, that is a sequined bra in his hand.

Toby in the oven! He has discovered his reflection in the glass oven door. Much time is spent tap tap tapping the door with his toys. He can also see mummy in the oven, and is a bit confused when he turns around and there is mummy, she's not in the oven at all!

This pair cannot be trusted, especially not in the kitchen together, hence the reason the baby gate is being installed as I type.

Little boys and their love of vacuum cleaners. Maybe it rubbed off from Alex and Taj, whose clothes he is wearing. I doubt he will show any interest in this fun machine once he is old enough to actually turn the thing on and clean his bedroom.

Stuck under a drawer. He was actually yawling and we laughed so hard ... not at you baby boy, with you.

A mickey mouse romper and hat with ears - too hard for this mum to resist.

The full ensemble ... you think he'd sit still for the photo? No way, too many good things on the benchtop to explore.

Life is good, but busy. I am working more than full-time hours, and the house renovations have, again, come to a standstill. It is a major job to get up the motivation to even phone a tradie, much less chase them up for the promised quote.

We had a guy come out and quote on paving, reticulation, lawns, retaining walls for garden beds - and were told we wouldn't have much change out of $30,000. $30,000!!! That is a whole surrogacy!!!! And that doesn't include the $5000 remote control gate I covet, much less the new fence or any repair of the old fence. One guy came out a few weeks ago, and promised the quote the week before Easter. No contact. Not from him, or the guy who promised his quote two weeks earlier! I figure if they can't be bothered to follow up with a quote, they can't be bothered to show up to do the job. So now I have to go through the whole process again, ringing round, making times for tradies, most of whom don't show up, and if they do, they then don't bother to send the quote. Arghhhhhh!!!!

We have made some progress - we have a shed. Oh yes, a shed. And the shed is being filled with all the stuff being stored in the fourth bedroom (old kitchen). Bob did a big clear out of his "boxes du crap". Despite me forcing him to do a big clear out of said crap when we moved here five years ago, and again when we moved his rubbish out of the old garage and into the actual house, he still had so much to get rid of ... This is my husband, the most organised, disciplined freak in the world - he had kept bank statements from 1990; not one, but TWO notices of license disqualifications for speeding from when he was 20; and - cop this - his wedding certificate from 1992.

Now it's my turn to clear out my boxed du crap. But my crap is useful! I have dozens of boxes from my old dance days; my old costumes, fabric, beading, sequins, and the treasure-chest of shiny things I could definitely use if I had time to make glitzy fairy dresses and Arabian Princess costumes for little girls. (Mote to self, I WILL find a place, somewhere, so i can keep it all).

Once the fourth bedroom is cleared we can "attempt to" get quotes for floor repair, and built in wardrobe installation .... and floor polishing in the old part of the house ... arghhhhhhh!!!

Other news:

We go to Brisvegas around 25th June for Toby's 1st birthday and his Grandpa's 75th birthday. I am looking forward to getting out of Perth, but need to pick up a secondhand laptop so I can continue to work. My job is never-ending, none of us get sick days or holidays, but I love my job so much, especially the joy I see when people get pregnant, and finally have their babies.

Congratulations to SCI and all the parents who are now pregnant, it was a glorious month with a pregnancy success rate of over 90%. Wish all months were like that ...

Congratulations to K and B (Australia) on the birth of your daughter and son; P and J (Australia) on the safe arrival of Anastasia and Harrison (I told you so!!!) - bring on number three!; M and K (USA) and your lovely boy; G and P (Sweden) and your beautiful baby son; A and C (USA) and your darling baby boy ... sorry I told you to go get some sleep when you were 2cm dilated as nothing would happen for ages, advice you took and baby came within the hour. Oops. Nothing like waking to the news you are a mom and dad, with pictures to show for it! I am so blessed to be part of the excitement of the births f these amazing babies.

Finally: here is our super nanny, Alicia. We adore her, she is just the best! SHE dressed him in pink, not me (though I did enjoy it : ))) She thinks she is going to work in the mines and that we will give her a reference. Hah, as if! I am sure I caught her smoking pot in the nursery, she'll never pass a drug test in the mines!!! We don't want her to leave us!!!!!

Cross-dressing starts early in our household. Oh, let me bust out those sequins! Eddie, you up for a Glee-cossie to wear on your interview with Fox News?

The Tobester .. almost 10 months

2011-04-23T23:20:00.004+08:00

Time keeps on ticking ... into the future ...

The spitting game. We're not allowed to play this anymore : (

Not a lot happening here, just work, sleep, play and lots of Toby. Life is good!

9 months and a toof

2011-04-06T23:19:00.013+08:00

Well, not so much a toof, but a small raised bump and a slither of white. Bob and Alicia are sure it's there, I've yet to stick my finger in his mouth.

So busy, so much work, so little time, and lots of baby.

Toby is super mobile now and very fast. He hasn't managed to get onto his actual knees, he only uses one knee and grabs the floor and pushes off with his feet. His knees get filthy, as for the front of his clothes, thank God for washing machines. Now mummy has joined in the fun and we play crawlies all over the lounge and dining room floor.

Toby's new loves:

Alicia. Oh you should see the little traitor after a weekend without his new best friend, his eyes just light up when he sees her on a Monday. Alicia, Alicia, Alicia.

kissing: big open-mouth wet sloppy ones

cats: he is a stalker, the kitties are not amused

banging - anything that makes a loud noise on the wooden floors

singing: the boy sings, h is actually joining in with lullaby times, the loud screechie noises are too funny

cuddles: he was never much of a cuddler, but recently has been hugging and nestling into us, God it's gorgeous!

spitting: a-frrrrt - with a droolie mouth, usually full of food. Alicia, armed with a wet facecloth and a stern "no" is training him out of it : )

cords: anything that look even remotely cord like and dangerous he's into. We have had to move lamps, fans, computer bits and pieces out of his way

cat food: num num, he helped himself to dry bits, should have seen the look on his face - definitely not a love

cat door - the cats don't use it, but Toby seriously thinks he can squeeze through that tiny space

paper - a ripping good time, caught him with the phone directory a few times, also computer paper, photo paper, anything he can reach on my desk

embarrassing mum and dad at Rhyme Time - all the little babies and toddlers sit nicely on their parents' laps and join in the fun. Toby? He circles the room on his tummy, grabbing everyone's song sheets trying to rip them to shreds. He grabbed a baby's bib and pulled her face down onto the mat, he bit another baby's feet, and crawled up Archie's mum and grabbed her hair.

It must be time for another baby : )

Til next time ... some Toby goodness

My perfect baby : ))

You're not a cat, but you'll do

Have play gym, will stand

You are getting sleepy ...

My little thug

Crazy baby in a bouncer. If you look closely you'll see a raised bit of gum on the bottom to the right of the pic, that's his "toof", and that's as close as I'm getting, lest he take my finger off.

Our bubble is mobile!

2011-03-20T15:22:00.006+08:00

Before I present some Toby Goodness, don't forget to watch Insight on SBS, Tuesday 22nd March featuring Dr Shivani, Sam from Sam and Phil's Blog, and the dreadful Linda Burney who proposed the amendment to the NSW Surrogacy Bill, 2010 making it illegal for anyone from NSW to go overseas for commercial surrogacy.

http://news.sbs.com.au/insight/index

The show is uploaded to the SBS site, so hopefully our international friends can see it online. It should be very interesting given this is the first time Linda Burney will hear a few facts about surrogacy abroad. keep in mind, the amendment was passed by both houses of parliament in less than 48 hours, with no research being done, no community consultation, no due process as we expect from our Australian politicians, and those that voted for it didn't actually know what they were voting for.

News from home: our baby is crawling! He is into anything and everything and we often find him beaming up at our feet with his toothless grin. Check out his action.

Bob spent the weekend Toby-proofing the house. We now have plastic plugs in all power points, furniture rearranged at odd angles with tall items like camera tripod and the Guitar Hero guitar out of reach. Forget home decor when you have a crawler. Sadly for Toby, it's time for the cot. He can no longer be left immobile in the middle of our King bed. The house has been swept clear of Toby un-friendly items and we're going to let him go free range in various places in the house.

Tobes is 9 months at the end of this week. He is thriving, healthy, happy and developing quite a willful personality. When he's awake, it's action all stations every second. So much to do, so little time. He isn't much of a cuddler, and despises being held like a baby, but he does cuddle up with mummy and daddy when he is tired. Here is a snippet of what we go through to feed him.

Toby is a talkative baby, I'm pretty sure he knows who "Ah-da " is (Bob) as he looks for Bob and calls him, but doesn't do that with anyone else now. He wakes at 4am every morning and babbles on in his baby gibberish, flipping over from his back to front, kicks us both and pulls our hair. His sweet little voice is so endearing, but it is getting louder as he grows, combined with block banging and his favourite game - "bash the remote on the hardwood floors", it gets pretty noisy around here.

We've swapped the baby bath for the laundry tub. We have a deep spa bath which requires getting on one's knees and leaning over a very deep bath. The laundry tub is much more fun (and less strenuous for mum and dad).

Succumbed
I finally did it, we have a nanny. Her name is Alicia and she is super nanny. Alicia comes five morning per week from 9am-1pm. My work is more than full-time and little Mr Crawler gives me not a moment's peace. Alicia is intent on sleep training Toby into his cot. It is hard to hear your bubble complain loudly and wriggle and kick and defy all attempts to get him to sleep, but Alicia is patient and she gets him in there eventually.

I am feeling a bit of working mother's guilt, even though i work from home and am right near Toby at all times, i miss him so much and am happy to take over the afternoon shift. We are a much happier and more settled family now we have help, and bob doesn't come home from work to a strung out baby, or wife who used to hit the computer as soon as he walked in the door.

We're finally getting organised and into a bit of a routine. Funny how work time and play time and quiet time are much more productive, effective and enjoyable when you aren't constantly multi-tasking or dead tired.

Australian Families Through Gestational Surrogacy

2011-03-13T15:36:00.003+08:00

This is a community service announcement on behalf of

Australian Families Through Gestational Surrogacy

Their mission statement is:

Supporting and progressing the rights, social and legal status of Australians using and planning to use surrogacy overseas and within Australia, through education, research, support and advocacy. Please visit www.surrogacyaustralia.org

The organisation aims to:

- To progress the rights, social and legal status of Australians using surrogacy overseas and within Australia

- To improve understanding within the Australian community of why families access surrogacy and the measures in place to
protect all parties.

- To provide and encourage social forums for Australians using surrogacy and their children

- To provide an information and support network for prospective and existing Australians considering or using surrogacy
arrangements

- To provide a central repository and access point for international research in relation to surrogates, commissioning parents
and children

AFTGS is an incorporated not-for-profit association registered with Consumer Affairs in Victoria, Australia. Its position holders are voluntary, and the association is not affiliated with any clinic, anywhere in the world.

Annual membership is $50 which allows members, through the full site, to access

· the latest changes to legislation, immigration and other processes at home and abroad

· objective independent data on surrogacy agencies, risks, outcomes for surrogates and pitfalls

· the latest ‘how-to’ guides in regard to international surrogacy arrangements

· take part in research

· access heaps of research on surrogates, outcomes for children and intending parents

Please join and support the people working to educate the wider community and make surrogacy services more accessible for Australians.

Bloggers: wherever you are, can you please support AFTGS by adding www.surrogacyaustralia.blogspot.com to your blog lists.

(Disclaimer: I am a member only and hold no position nor influence due to my affiliation with SCi Healthcare)

He stands!

2011-03-02T20:56:00.013+08:00

I think he is going to bypass crawling and go straight to walking. He is already pulling himself up on the couch. He takes 95% of his weight himself and just needs something to grab onto. Note the tippy toes ... my ballerina. (Excuse the nappy, nanny put that one on.)

Life is so busy. I work, I care for Toby, I paint, I try to sleep, and I work some more. I finally gave in and hired a painter. Whoot! Now my mum and dad are here from the East coast and I have two full-time babysitters. Whoot!

Toby is now eight months old. At his last check he weighed 8.5 kilos, boy can you feel it. I use him as dumb bells for my morning exercise. He isn't crawling yet, trying, but not getting anywhere fast. His favourite words are still da-da da-da da-da; he eats everything and anything - he even gobbled down an anchovy. he is a wriggler, and has a mind of his own. I suspect he is going to be quite a determined, willful little toddler and I'm not looking forward to nascent mobility.

Grandpa Peter is Toby's new best mate. They I walked into dad's room the other day and there was dad lying back reading, Toby next to him, with a catalogue. He likes to copy, though he soon ate the pages, something grandpa didn't teach him I hope.

Awwww ...

Grandpa and grandson. They share a birth date and we are having a joint birthday party this year. Dad is 75, Toby turns one on the same day. Dad is diabetic, so Toby will be lucky to get a whole wheat carrot cake with zucchini icing. (Note to dad: put your tooth in before I take pics.)

My sweet smart little boy loves his red plastic goblet. Maybe he will join the circus as an acrobat, he uses his feet as much as his hands. His bottle usually ends up between his feet, twirled around by his toes.

He loves his truck. This pic shows how cheeky and confident my little baby is.

Cheeky baby. I love you so much.

Toby and Mummy photo shoot and videos

2011-02-03T14:30:00.004+08:00

Unlike the Vishwas boys and girls, we didn't get a photographer in to take pics, though that is a bloody good idea and one we may well follow up on. Here is me and toby using the Photobooth program on the Mac. It even takes videos.

My determined little boy is getting bigger and stronger and more demanding and every single day.

Some Toby facts:

He is master of the jolly jumper and has two 40 minutes sessions in it per day

He is a cheeky little devil and has started to demand attention, usually by a long protracted low level moaning, which doesn't stop until you give him what he wants; more recently he has ramped up the volume and actually screams- loudly.

He is an excellent eater, and a carnivore. He loves his boiled and minced chicken, beef and lamb. He is not getting sausages no matter how much he reaches for them.

He adores egg - mmm, scrambled egg.

He is desperately trying to crawl but getting nowhere. He lies on his tummy and his arms and legs flail about, but the body doesn't move.

He is quite dexterous with both hands and feet. An empty bottle is usually put in between his feet, and juggled like one of those Chinese plate-spinning acrobats.

He throws toys out of his cot, off the bed, out of his rocker and his bouncer. Cause he can.

His favourite toy is mummy's hair, I wake in the night to the little monster grabbing fistfuls of hair with both hands, detangle myself, turn him over and say, "Look, daddy has hair too".

Nothing knocks him out quckier than a bottle of milk and his parents' bed.

Ahhh, that feels better - a new blog

2011-01-29T21:22:00.002+08:00

I have removed my last few posts about the schtick we get in Australia about commercial surrogacy. I have made a new blog. I want to keep this blog as Toby's blog, and from now on, all you will see on this blog is Toby updates.

I have a new blog where I will make any comment I like about anything to do with surrogacy. I need to keep separate my new life as a mum from my anger at the rubbish that is thrown from time to time, by the media, or by politicians, about the badness of doing surrogacy in India, or even in USA!

You will find this blog on my blog list - www.indiansurrogacyissues.blogspot.com. There I will continue to challenge those who are in positions of power - media, and politicians - who have so much ability to influence, and to actually change laws, without knowing anything about surrogacy, or even bothering to do any research about the facts, than little old me banging on politically from time-to-time will ever have.

What you choose to read is up to you. No matter what clinic you go with, in any country, just never give up.

Meg xxx

This is my life! updated with Toby pics

2011-01-11T15:00:00.005+08:00

I challenge you all to sing along and keep up. It's Old McDonald on speed.

How nice to have a full tummy and pass out in one's bouncer, which you can see he is rapidly growing out of ; ((

My boy can hold his own bottle. Even the larger ones full of milk he can hold and feed himself. Sometimes he drops the bottle, and 50% of the time manages to get the correct end in his mouth.

I am so proud of him.

Happy New Year, birth, life and death ....

2011-01-02T17:24:00.011+08:00

Found out where the posts went. Bob went to do something on the blog and inadvertently deleted the last few posts. So no hacking of blog as I assumed. Mystery solved. Without further ado, here is the Tobester. I took these pics 2 weeks ago, he is such a big boy. My lovely peeps from UK, N and C sent us this outfit and a gorgeous baby book, and delicious chocolate when Mr T was born. It seemed forever that he would fit this gorgeous little ensemble, now here he is.

How did my itty bitty baby get so big?

Toby turned six-months on Dec 29. No half-birthday cake from mummy, just shock so much has happened in such a small space of time. I know we all lament the passing of our newborns into bigger babies, then to toddlers, then to little boys and girls. I really don't want to shrink him, he is perfect in every single way, but heck he's BIG!

So six months means a new round of immunizations. That will be done. He will cry, I will cry, we will get over it, then I will realize suddenly he is sitting, crawling, then walking .... and the rest of it. Let me not get too far into the future, I am savoring every precious second of the present. The thing with kids is, once you have them, you have to slow down. Life changes in the most amazing ways. If you want to keep your fast-paced life, you can't. If you think you can, you are in for a rude shock. And that shock is so delightful because you find yourself with the most incredible little wonder, and why would you want to live fast? Bob and I never lived "fast" anyway, we never had any exciting life, we just worked and built the house and got over the past and did really really good!. We are both "A-Type"personalities. A-type be gone. It has to be gone. We have a baby who demands attention.

Christmas
I wish I could tell you it was perfect with all the bells and whistles, and Santa coming down the firepace. LMAO, far from that!!! Not much to tell about our Christmas. It was just me and Bob, Willo and Toby. Toby didn't appreciate the mountain of presents under the tree, all for him (books); Willo and Bob spent a week playing Need for Speed, and I worked and missed my family and cried a lot. I even cried because the lamb roast looked like an actual lamb's leg and I like to pretend my food comes from the supermarket, not an animal. I think it is time to return back east to stay for good.

It was horrendously hot and we don't have the aircon in yet. I mean, HOT hot, so hot the house warms up after the sun goes down and you lie in front of the fan with wet towels on your body. Who can be bothered to eat hot food on Christmas Day in the Australian summer? Sill, we tried. Here is Will preparing lunch. Yes, that's a can of Mortein.

I was sick for four weeks with an ear infection and concurrent flu. Honestly,w ho gets the flu in summer? I was too busy to go to my ENT specialist or even our GP, so suffered through it without antibiotics, which I should have taken, and just a bit of panadol. My brother came over from Brisbane after Christmas for a few days and I got to sleep. Ah blessed, sleep, it is something that usually evades me, but which I really really need more of. Last year was the biggest of my life; having Toby, going back to work, and owner building a huge home extension project. It has taken its toll, and the body will tell when enough is enough and drop you to the floor.

Big baby with his Whinnie the Poo and Tigger PJs from Grandma

Death
Our family doggie died. Little Kimmie is my dad's dog, and our family dog. She was 15 years of age; this is a good long innings for a cattle dog. A body wears out, despite the best of treatment. Little Kimmie has been on the brink death since Toby was born on my dad's birthday June 29. She hung on for six months, she went far past her years. Dad will finally get to meet Toby; he was ill for a good part of 2009, recovering from two major surgeries in 2010 and couldn't leave Kim. Mum and dad will be over in the next month once they have packed up the family home and moved.

Changes
Our family home is being packed up and mum and dad are moving to their house on Stradbroke Island. The family house is being rented out. Mum and dad have lived there for 35 years, they built it back when I was 9. There have been a lot of tears as 35 years of history and memorabilia are cleared out of the cupboards and either packed up to go to Stradbroke, or sent to the tip. Come the end of January I will no longer be able to go "home". There will be strangers living in "our" home. I don't like the thought of that at all, and I grieve for the past, and fear for what the next phase of our lives will hold.

I won't be able to show Toby the "big bed" ... it has been sawn up and dumped at the tip. Ah, the "big bed" the king size bed that saw 20 years of family lie-ins, cups of tea in bed, cuddles, love and tears. It was the bed I ran to when I had nightmares, creeping along the passage to my parents room, after a night fright, standing at the door tentatively calling, "mum". The bed I always made a beeline for as soon as I returned home from wherever my life had taken me. The bed I spent months lying in recovering from a chronic illness in my 20s. There is nothing like the safety and secutriy of mummy and daddy's bed.

Life moves on and I resist the inevitable changes that come with moving into new phases of life. We have our own "big bed" tradition which is where Bob and Toby are now slobbed out, Toby hugging his purple bear. I hope our home and our big bed will provide the sense of security, constancy and love our family have all enjoyed thanks to my wonderful parents.

Toby in the big bed, took the pic a few minutes ago. He is looking like a little boy now, not a baby ....

A bottle AND a sippy cup.

Toby is great as usual. He has mastered flipping from his back to this tummy. he struggled with this for a week as there is always one arm stuck under the body, so he learned that grabbing a pillow, or mummy's hair helped him get over. Now he rolls by himself and you him in one position and come back and there he is on his tummy.

Crawling isn't progressing much, that is crawling on his front. On his back he is a master, he can shimmy on his back from the bottom to the top of the bed. On his belly he just gets frustrated because we keep his toys just out of reach and encourage gim to learn to move. Are we mad???!! Who would actually encourage mobility ...

He is eating three meals a day, and has his normal number of bottles, but he's dropped the night feeds, so we now have a blissful 7-8pm til 5-6am with him not waking. Occasionally he wakes at 2-3am and thinks it's time to play, but a bottle usually fixes that. he now drinks from a sippy cup, and he helps me feed him, usually by grabbing the spoon or bowl and tipping food all over himself.

Toby is such a lovely baby, he is very happy, giggly, he smiles all the time and he now holds his arms out to be picked up. he clings to my neck with one arm, and he giggles his head off when he gets tummy kisses. He calls out a lot, and is a real chatterer. We have been blessed with a really easy baby, albeit noisy : )

Til next time ....

Blog weirdness ...grrr

2010-12-27T23:41:00.003+08:00

I seem to be missing my last few posts. Has this happened to anyone else?

Here are the vids again.

The song is Perhaps Love, by John Denver 1980. Yes, I am a JD fan, gotta love a country boy slapping a few cakes on the griddle.

Getting the crap off my blog

2010-11-27T23:40:00.004+08:00

I want this blog to be about Toby, and Bob, Willo and me. Our family. We tried long and hard to have what we have now, and I don't want to have to defend myself, be political, answer defamatory accusations made by demented imbeciles elsewhere in blogland, nor pollute my pretty close to perfect world. At the same time, I refuse to be maligned by greedy and bitter mongrels with an agenda. I will always stand up for myself, my clinic and for my family against any lying bully.

I have set-up another blog.

This is where I will post anything that has nothing to do with our family. You will find it linked as "Internationalsurrogacyadvocatescrap" on my blog link. This blog is a free-for-all. It is unmoderated, if you want to be part of the problem, the lies, the fear and the innuendo, feel free to post, if you want to go to India and have babies, stay away, don't believe the bullshit and focus on you and creating your family.

At the end of the day, you are all looking for what we have now achieved, a baby through surrogacy in India. Our road was full of pain and disappointment, but our journey was nowhere near as hard as some have had. If you keep trying - it works! It is not always an easy journey, and you have to do your research, keep your eyes open, listen to the sensible people who have gone before you - the true veterans - and keep the hell away from tin-pot mom-and-pop agencies in USA who seek only to charge you more, and do nothing more than you can get directly from a clinic.

Back to reality: here is our Toby, at 5 months, our miracle baby, who is attempting to crawl. We thank God every single day for Toby, most days we can't believe we have him with us, and most days we just marvel that we were able to bring him into the world through SCI Healthcare and Dr Shivani and team. I know from the many parents I email with who have their babes through SCI and other clinics feel the same way. If you keep trying, it works!

Willo and Toby, who just whacked poor Will in the mouth as I took the pic. He doesn't hurt much, but he sure has control of his hands!

Happy Forum-a-versary!

2010-11-21T00:42:00.005+08:00

Charliecat and I started the Indian Surrogacy Support Forum - We Proud Parents - around a year ago. I've just been updating the "birth and due dates" list and thought I'd share with non-forum peeps the number of babies born or due our forum members. This is not a complete list of pregnancies or births through SCI - it's around half - as I don't know all clients of course. I am amazed that when we started the forum we started with a small list of due dates. The first birth came in June 2010, with many more to follow.

Just look at these gorgeous little lives brought into the world. And this is just one forum, and one clinic. Which leads me to wonder exactly how many babies have been born through surrogacy in India. There are numerous clinics, some written about on blogs, some I have heard of, and some I am sure I am yet to hear about. I once asked the Australian High Commission if they kept statistics on the number of Australian babies born through surrogacy in India - they don't. I wonder if other countries' embassies keep stats.

So here I present to you a small fraction of the beautiful babies born through one clinic and one forum in one year.

Happy Forum-A-Versary to us all!

JUNE 2010
Australia - singleton - baby boy born early June, 2010!!!

JULY 2010
Australia- baby boy Tobias Jai born 29th June 2010
Australia - - boy and girl twins born early June 2010!!!
Australia - baby girl born first week of July, 2010
USA - girl, boy, twins born first week of June at 35 weeks, both doing well

AUGUST 2010
Australia - baby boy born 14/8/10 - hooray!
UK - twin girls - girl/girl twins Woo hoo! First forum twin girls.
UK - baby boy

Australia -: boy and girl twins

SEPTEMBER 2010
USA - baby girl
Sweden - baby girl
USA - twin boys!!!
Australia - baby boy

Australia - baby boy
Australia - baby girl
USA - girl/girl twins

USA baby girl
USA girl/girl twins

OCTOBER 2010
Australia - baby boy
USA - boy girl twins

Norway - baby boy

NOVEMBER 2010
Australia -girl/boy twins
Australia - girl / boy twins
Norway - baby boy

Australia - baby boy

Due:
Australia - twins

DECEMBER 2010

USA - baby girl born 3 weeks early.
Australia - singleton
USA - twins
UK - singleton
Australia - singleton
UK - twins

JANUARY 2011
Australia - singleton
Australia - singleton
UK - singleton
USA - twins
USA - twins

FEBRUARY 2011
Australia - it's THREE!!! for the boys
USA - twins

MARCH 2011
Australia - twins
USA - twins

APRIL, 2011

MAY 2011
Australia - twins
USA - singelton
USA - singleton
Australia - twins and singelton
Australia - singelton
Australia - babies 2 and 3 - it's twins
Sweden - singelton

JUNE 2011
Australia - singleton
UK - singelton
Australia - singleton and singleton

JULY 2011
Australia - twins and singelton - yep, it's three!
USA - singleton and singleton

AUGUST 2011
UK - singleton + singleton
USA - twins

Does it get any cuter than this?

2010-11-10T22:06:00.003+08:00

The Chai Babies gave Toby this outfit when he was born, a short 4 months or so ago. It looked HUGE. My little baby now fits it perfectly. I am about to clear out his 000 outfits - some worn once only - and send them south for the Chai Twins. Yep, they grow so quick!

Things are humming along nicely. Toby is good, I am good, Bob is good. The dog, not so good, she is malting all over the house and I can't stand the mess, so she is banished for most of the day, outside.

Today was a lovely rainy day, so few rainy days here in Perth. Bob "worked from home" and I slept in til 1.40pm. Luxury, pure luxury!

The house is coming along. I now have two rooms to paint, and once I have done them, we get the use of them, can clear out the shed, and I can set up my sewing machine and get creative. Whoot! Costumes for all! Let me crack open those boxes of fabrics, sequins, beading, and all things shiny.

Oh, and it was my birthday last Thursday. Bob gave me a hard back book on the history of Australian crime (yeah, I'm into things like that : ), my parents gave me face moisturiser - the stuff used by "older" people, my father-in-law bought me flowers (ex-wife of Bob's never got flowers from FIL in 12 years .. ha ha, I rock), Aunty Sally gave me chocolates and a gift card for a manicure, and Bob's mum gave me my favourite rose-scented hand cream - and a box of vanilla Opti-fast milkshake sachets. Long story, we won't go there.

I bought myself make-up for the first time in years, a pair of new shoes, had my hair cut and coloured back to my natural blonde - and put myself on a strict diet. Have to shift that pregnancy weight sometime : ) I also decided to turn 34. I have officially cut 10 years off my age. Why? Because if I am 44 I feel too old to have another baby or two. If I am 34, I can wait a couple of years before trying again.

It's bizarre this number thing. We spend all our childhoods waiting to get older. We are six-and-a-half, ten-and-three-quarters, almost 14. Hit 40 and you want to turn the clock back. My decline in age is purely a psychological technique designed to support me in my pursuit of more babies. Odd. I know. it makes little sense. I would never tell a 44-year-old woman she was too old for babies. I would never say that to a 50-year-old woman, but for me, I have this silly self-chatter that says, " Too old, don't deserve". Turning 34 has shut that voice off, and yes, we are greedy, we will try again. When? Not before March 2011.

Is it wrong to want another one when we are so blessed to have Toby, our miracle babe?

So, happy 34th birthday to me, and everyone else feeling over-the-hill.

He rolls!

2010-10-31T21:32:00.003+08:00

Got so excited today - there was much clapping of hands. Toby did his first-ever roll over, from tummy to back. Had to nudge him the first time, then he got the hang of it and did all by himself with no help from mummy or daddy. Here are some more pics, cause he is cute and we love him, and cause I just can't stop taking photos of him!!!

Slug.

Whatchoo lookin at?

Dribble ... going to frame this one.

How much is that baby in the mirror? Pic kinda didn't work, but he was gazing lovingly at himself before I pulled out the camera.

Four month check-up

2010-10-30T17:08:00.004+08:00

The Tobester is four-months old. He had his four-month immunisations on Thursday. He was brave, mummy wasn't. Poor Toby, two needles thrust simultaneously into his chubby little thighs. He cried for a minute or so then promptly fell asleep - only side effect - five hours sleep in a row! Mummy spent the afternoon checking every two minutes to make sure he was breathing. Of course he was.

Some stats - he weighs a whopping 6.75 kilos (up from 5 kilos at 2 months) and measures 63cm (up from 52 cm at 2 months). He is a tall boy. His head is 43cm - rather large - must be all those brains he's growing.

Our doctor said he is ready for something other than milk. It is early to start food, but he's still waking every 3 hours through the night and his tummy is hungry. Real food may help.

Today was the day - we introduced him to an organic carrot, apple and sweet potato mix. Rice cereal sounded too bland. As you will see, most came out of his mouth and onto his bib, and he scoffed his normal amount of milk after his "meal". It ended up being more for experience than to fill him up. Here are the results of the Inaugural Toby Feeding Event. Thanks to Aunty Shivani for his silver spoon and bowl : )

A place at the table

Yum, yum, yum, yum, yum

"In we go!"

Yuck, yuck, yuck, yuck, yuck!

"Come on dad, you don't really expect me to eat food the colour of my shirt?"

"Yes son. See, daddy thinks it's yummy".

"You said it was yummy, it tastes like poop!"

In case you missed it - a close up of Toby's disgust

Bubba Doodle

2010-10-22T21:52:00.003+08:00

My new sideboard! Antique jarrah, 1893. Finally off lay-by after months. Roses are from our garden, grown by moi : )

Stunned mullet - or would be if he had hair.

That cannot be comfortable

Grandma, a jealous photo for the other grandma to encourage her to get herself over to WA. I miss my mummy!!!

Grandson/grandma finger crunch

Falling asleep sitting up.

First- to Todd, a big thanks for your suggestion. I looked up the snot sucker and dry wretched. If I'd had food in my stomach it would have ended up all over the keyboard. You seriously suck the snot out through a tube? Oh my. There's even a video of it in action. Bob reckons the snot doesn't get to your mouth, but collects in a filter. Ewww, who cleans the filter? Not Bob, that would be me! Ewww. I don't think you realise just how much of an aversion I have to mucus. I bet I get one for my birthday : (

Things are humming along. We're off to buy an alcatraz set-up tomorrow. Toby is getting mobile. No more on the lounge, which he hogs anyway. He is almost rolling and he is such a little wriggler, and kicker. He has pretty good control of his hands now, and the legs know what they're doing, but coordination of all four isn't quite there. Tell you what, he can pack a punch with those feet. His morning joy is to lie with mummy and kick her in her stomach, and anywhere else he can land a blow, while chatting incessantly and occasionally letting out the loudest shrieks of utter joy.

This morning we were in bed with him and he started yabbering on in cute little gremlin-esque chittering, it was so funny, but as he got louder and louder the sounds turned to something you'd hear come from the bowels of a wild beast. The boy has good control of his vocal chords and mummy is suffering. He is actually calling out, not with an actual word, but when I leave him, he will call, and keep calling until I return. I love him to pieces, but gee he wears me out.

He still scoffs doodh ki bottle every 3 hours, but it doesn't seem to be holding his appetite. I think he could eat a steak. Will be checking with the doctor next week to see when he should start something other than milk. He is nowhere near sleeping through the night. Blessed Friday, Bob is on duty, and I am off to sleep the whole night through!

A big congratulations to Ula and Saul on the birth of their daughter and son, I am so relieved they are doing well.

Squealing, slugs and silly games

2010-10-13T16:13:00.006+08:00

Sumo slug with atta-tood

My little slug : )) It was pants-optional day.

I was reading about child development from 4-6 months on the net this morning. Toby is heading for 4 months. I like to keep-up-to-date with what babies "should" be doing at this stage. I read babies start to squeal at around 4 months, and I kid you not, he let out two incredibly loud squeals today - first-time ever. I was so proud of him, it was like no baby had ever in the history of babies been so clever!

He is now grabbing his play gym hanging toys, and this morning discovered the rattle that is on one side. That was pretty noisy. After 20 minutes of rattle play he had squirmed 45 degrees and spent a further 10 minutes or so kicking the rattle with his feet.

Such a little thing is so big for a baby. He concentrates so hard and really tries to reach everything. Then he gets sick of it and goes all squawly, so I pick him up and we have some cuddles, a chat and lot of laughs. God I love him!!!!

Where did 4 months go? I am packing up clothes for Chai Baby in the hope she has at least one boy. Most of them are courtesy of the Tigerlilycats who gifted me a load of 00000 and 0000 which no longer fit the Toby-Monster. I wonder if there will be any wear left in them after the Chai babies have their turn. There is sure to be plenty of babies to pass them to.

The boys playing something horrible on PS3

Kapow!

2010-10-11T16:45:00.002+08:00

Toby's big round head

2010-10-10T18:51:00.006+08:00

Here is a pic of the mii Bob created on wii for Toby. I caught Willo and dad playing wii with Toby, poor little man had a wii controller around his wrist, which ended up in his mouth, of course. Mummy saved him. he should not be watching TV at all, much less being encouraged to play games. No TV or games for Toby!

This is Toby's mii.

and here is Toby

enuff said

Back to Goodness ... It's the Tobytron!

2010-10-07T20:25:00.005+08:00

My little boxer.

See how big I am

The past couple of weeks Toby is interested in the hangy down things on his play gym. Mummy happened to have the camera ready when Toby finally caught the flower. I was so proud!

Busted smiling. The smiles and laughs come readily these days. This boy is a real talker too.

Mr Milky face. The hands are in his mouth a lot these days.

Sumo stretch.

Smiling up at daddy.

We've started work on the house again. Oh my, what a mess. The old kitchen is being pulled apart. There is a large pile of bricks out the front from where the old fireplace and chimney were removed. I have dust and dirt all over the house. I am constantly cleaning : ((

The back bedroom had to have the ceiling replaced as it was sagging so badly it would have only lasted another couple of years. best to get it done now while the floors in the old part of the house aren't polished.

To top it all off, the plumbing got blocked, the toilets backed up, the shower was coming up through the bathroom floor, and showers were making the kitchen sink go glug glug glug.

The pic above is the old kitchen. It will be Willo's bedroom. Its quite a decent sized room now the old hallway is combined. The bricklayer comes tomorrow to brick up holes and the old doorways. Once that is done the plasterer can come in and finish my office and make me a linen cupboard. Woo hoo!

Some Toby facts:

He knows who mummy is

He reaches for mummy

He is not so keen on strangers

He says "oooh, ahhh, gaaa, ohhhh, haaaa and .mmm"

He sleeps in his cot!!!

He rarely cries and when he does there is always a reason

He settles quickly

He still eats every three hours

He makes little whimpery groaning sounds when he falls asleep in my arms

I love him so much, more and more every day. I cannot imagine my life without him. Sometimes the love I feel for him is so intense it hurts. I never imagined it could be this good.

Roll up, roll up, one and all...

2010-09-26T18:33:00.009+08:00

It's Perth Royal Show week here in the far west of Australia, a veritable country in its own right. WA should secede from the rest of the country. This year I have an excuse to not have to mingle with Perth's bogans and the yearly blow-in of toothless, baccy-chewin' Carnie Folk. Toby. I know when he's old enough I will be forced to revisit this nightmare of stinky men and rabid teens, and puddles of battered-sav-on-a-stick induced vomit. Today my idea of fun was to stay home and spring clean the house.

Double click on the pic to get the full effect of the horror on their faces. Priceless.

Toby's show ride. "Mumma get me off grandma's swing. I want 4G forces like my brother got. And a S26 newborn show bag."

"Why is that camera always in my face? You think I'm going to smile when I have a big black shiny thing with winking lights grabbing my attention?"

Frrrrt - and smile - our multi-talented baby.

My sweet baby. I think he'll keep those blue eyes.

Gotcha! A perfect baby. I will enter him in a beauty contest and he will win.

and the best saved for last. "Mummy is so funny!"

So, not a lot to say. Day after day is the same. Wake up, feed Toby, change Toby, play with toby, put Toby to bed. I am loving the slow pace and lack of drama in our lives. We've started to do a few things on the house. The verandah (porch) paving is next to go in, then hopefully a new fence, driveway and one of those remote controlled sliding gates, as I am too lazy to get out and open a gate to put the car in. Babies slow you down. I don't do anything fast these days. I can no longer achieve 100 things in one day ... it is so different to the frenetic pace I was keeping up before Toby's birth.

I have time to watch TV, catch up on documentaries - am obsessed with "Who Do You Think You Are?" at present, time to read, even to play piano. I haven't gone back to painting yet (too messy) and I am concentrating on learning a medley of songs for Mr Toby-Wan-Kenobi. I can't sing for sh*t but the acoustics in the new extension would make Tickle Me Elmo's voice sound good. Maybe there is a place for me on the X-Factor after all.

(Yeah, the last bit was a joke : ))

Life is good.

Needing sleep

2010-09-21T23:06:00.003+08:00

Mr Big Eyes. They are still blue.

Meg in the raw. When you least expect it, your mother takes a photo of you and your double chin cause no matter how rotten you look, you will always be her beautiful baby.

Half naked, yeah mum! Let's do the happy dance.

Toby had me up this morning at 3.50am. He has been doing great in his cot, but this morning, he was a grizzlie little bear. I am dead tired, running on fumes, yet I am nowhere near as brain-deadedly exhaustedly delirious as I was even a month ago. I guess you get used to sleep deprivation.

I refuse to apply any rules or routines to our baby, no matter what any book says. I feed on demand (usually every 3 hours now, so a bit better than every 2 hours as it was for the first 8 weeks), I swaddle unless he is distressed, we co-sleep if needed, by either of us, he sleeps on the lounge - at times "unattended" - shock, horror!!!! and I have thrown all the books away. We're doing great.

Toby is now three months old. He is out of "newborn" nappies and into "infant". I have ditched Huggies - too expensive, and started using Babylove. Same thing - sucks up wee and poo and half the cost of Huggies. Toby is now in 000 tops, but 0000 pants still fit. We have abandoned sleep suits, he hates them and so do I. He loves his swing chair, expect for the mobiles, which he ducks when swinging forward. He has started to grab my hair. he reaches for m, he holds my fingers. He nuzzles my neck when needy, and kicks me when I get in the way. He is a happy baby and I am a very happy mummy.

Teething is a happening thing. His little gums at the bottom back are so sore and inflamed sometimes, with raised white on tops. At the front in the middle he has two little slithers of white toothie peeking through.

He is changing so very much. He is a real chatter, especially in the morning. He knows who his mummy is. He chats away, and laughs, while gulping huge gasps of air, and I am sure he has started singing. He is so into being awake, and will delay sleep as long as he can, there is simply too much life and many good times to be had.

Most of all I love those special mummy smiles, that come at times when least expected, and never when asked for, that spread across his chubby cheeks and light up his face and mine.

I love his laugh, I love hearing him chortle away to himself in the mornings while he is in his cot watching his mobile. Bob has taught him that a chicken says, "Cheep", and turtle says "Moo" and a snail says "Baa". Hmm. What sounds do turtles and snails make?

He loves Myrtle his stuffed turtle, who, suspended on spring from the light shade in his room, dances when mummy pulls her legs. He loves back pats and bott patts, he loves mummy's arms, he loves milk, milk and more milk, and he loves being in the nude sans nappy so he can stretch with wild abandon.

Mummy's days: there's not much to them these days. Wake, so a bit of work on the computer, read the blogs, feed Toby, spend 3 hours talking and playing with Toby, try to make Toby sleep, pay some bills, make milk, make more milk, forget the house work, procrastinate over getting the house extnesion done, ignore the phone, feed Toby, talk and play with Toby, make more milk, watch Toby eat, sleep, breathe, and make more milk. More often these days I sit in the sun and ponder the existence of life.

I never knew being a mummy would be such a spiritually awakening experience.

Toby's Vlog: Conversations with Mummy

2010-09-19T14:36:00.000+08:00

Toby's Vlog: Conversations with Mummy: "Daddy was eavesdropping."

My poor little baby

2010-09-11T14:00:00.007+08:00

Toby is teething. Yes, at 11 weeks. He started dribbling last week, and chewing his hand. Being a new mother I was completely clueless that both are signs of teething. This past week he has been cranky, clingy and is chewing his bottle teat rather than drinking the milk. He slept for most of today, and won't let me leave him. I have been stuck on the couch pretty much all day with a grizzly baby. Clueless mummy here mentioned the dribble to Bob tonight, and the wise one, who has done this twice before, said, "He's teething!"

"No!!! He's too young to teethe".

So I googled baby dribble and discovered some babies can start as young as 6 weeks. Some babies are even born with their teeth already through. Bob's mum confirms, Bob was a very early teether.

Bob did the old sterilise a spoon and run the handle of it along the gums trick - if you feel a scratchy sensation, they're teething. And sure enough, his back teeth on the bottom are starting to grow. His poor little gums have gone white on the top and are a little inflamed at the base.

Tonight Toby had his first taste of something other than milk - baby Panadol. He seemed to think it was pretty okay, until it hit his taste buds at the back of his mouth and he realised it was sickly sweet/bitter and his little face contorted into all kinds of weird grimaces.

Many Australians will recall the revolting "cherry medicine" of their childhoods. We're not talking natural cherry flavour that comes from nature, rather those horrid red maraschino cherries one finds plopped on the top of cheap vanilla ice-cream. I can confirm folks, the Panadol recipe hasn't changed in 40 years.

Father's Day 2010.

You may have to click on the pic to see Willo's artwork, I just love the drawings of Will, the Tobester and dad with a Chopper moe, all in shady glasses, with arms crossed in a symbol of masculine unity.

Aunty Sally and Toby love.

First trip in the pram. Take me walkies and do it NOW!

I have been videoing more than taking pics lately. Toby is doing so much talking now. He loves a good prattle in the morning and is very generous with his "ooh and aahhs", he mimics my face, and his smiles, though still infrequent, are divine. Will have to figure out how to upload the video and post.

Feeling a bit like Spring around here

2010-08-30T02:38:00.007+08:00

My little darling, doing what he does best - schnoooooooooze

Nanny's baby. Her second grandchild and first grandson. The love was instant.

My mum came last week. She is now back in Brisvegas. 10 too-short days. My dad has been unwell, so he couldn't come but mummy and Toby will fly to Brisvegas in a month to visit. Nanny loves her little grandson and I caught her crying over him the day she was leaving. It is so very very hard to be so far away from my mum and dad. I have a wonderful family here in Bob's parents and sisters and brother, and great-grandma, and my Polish side of the family. But sometimes a girl just wants her mummy. (Sob).

Getting to know Nanny (my mum).

Mummy and baby - self-portrait with nanny's camera.

The wearing of make-up didn't last long. Ah, bah-humbug. I truly do dress in my bathrobe all day, and can't get to the shower until Bob comes home. The Tobester is full-time work. He sleeps during the day, but only in my arms. If I can get him into the cot it is only for 45 minutes max, and I generally choose to cook, catch up on housework or work, do bugger the make-up! hey, I'm gorgeous anyway ; )) Beauty is about being happy and contended and at peace, not body weight, nice clothes or cosmetics. I am so very very happy!

Cuddling in with Nanny

So often I see Toby curled in with his dad, or his brother, his aunts, his grandma, or, in this case his Nanny. And my heart just swells. I didn't know a heart could hold so much and be so full of love it could burst. At times I want to cry, and sometimes I do cry, at the sheer beauty of our child. I would sell my soul to the devil to keep him near.

Our baby is smiling!

Not the best pic of his smile - it's very difficult to capture as the smiles are so fleeting for now, but he wakes in the morning and has a good chat with himself and gives lots of big gummy heart-melting smiles and oohs and aahs. We talk back to him, and tell him about the world, and repeat his calls and he replies, and we reply and he is so proud of himself, as we are of him. Sometimes he snorts when he giggles.

Things I have learned since becoming a mummy

Where do I start?

1. It's hard, tiring, sleep-depriving work, but so pleasurable it's not work.

2. You do NOT want twins, even though they are double the fun, one baby will stretch you in ways you could never imagine, even if you don't think it will.

3. Forget sleep, housework, make-up, dressing well, work et al for the first two months.

4. Single parents and parents of multiples need medals.

5. That second child we were planning because we're getting long-in-the-tooth will have to wait. Two under two will be very very hard.

6. Showers are over-rated.

7. Going to bed in your clothes means you wake up dressed.

8. Stretchy pants, tops, jumpers, stretchy anything is the only way to dress.

9. Burp and burp well. If you don't you both pay for it later with gas pain.

10. There is always another burp in the belly.

Some Toby Goodness

2010-08-24T01:13:00.008+08:00

Yo peeps, it's been awhile. Did you miss me? Check out my milky tongue. Does my butt look big in this blue blankie? Ooh yeah!

Tis me hanging with my Aunty Belinda, who flew all the way from Melbourne to make sure Aunty Sally doesn't become my favourite.

The boys having a "rest" on the couch. Amber is sleeping on Bob's feet. Yes, the dog is back inside, and back on the lounge. I'm weak, I admit it! Some things never change.

I went a bit wild in the nursery with Winnie the Pooh. Above the leather lounge - we can't get it out of the room, it won't go through the new doorways and the window it come in through has been bricked over. So much for forward planning. Toby reminds me of Pooh bear especially when I sit him up for a burp. He is such a cute, chubby little womble.

Above the change table, Pooh on the left is a cartoon Toby.

Above the fireplace. Pooh and Tigger. I will eventually replace the cards with photos of Toby's Indian surrogacy friends from all over the world.

On the cupboard next to the cot.

Toby is two months old today. I can't say the time has flown, I haven't actually noticed time. Dr S said the first two months you are a zombie. So true. but we're coming out of that stage with Toby sleeping better, and me giving up on forcing him into his cot. I have noticed Toby getting bigger and bigger and bigger! Especially his head. He's a monster! All the little hats that swam on his head as a newborn are too small. He is almost out of his 0000, but not quite into 000. he eats like a trooper, then eats some more. I fear he will end up like the fish in this book. Now that's a blast from the past - anyone remember it? It's about a little boy who feeds his fish too much and it grows out of it's bowl, then out of a saucepan, then out of the bath tub ... and so on

I love being a mother! I love, it adore it, treasure it. I love it so much I might marry it. Sure, the sleep deprivation isn't fun, and the fact you can't just get up when you want and do what you want takes some getting used to.

As Toby grows the bonding just gets stronger and stronger. Night time feeds I love. We lay together gazing into each other's eyes, me smiling, Toby with a bottle in his gob, cooing and ahhing and doing full body writhes with the ecstasy of milk, until he smacks the bottle out of his mouth and lets rip a burp worthy of a wharfie. He farts while he drinks, in fact he farts a lot. It is always in tandem with sucking on his bottle. It goes in one end as liquid gold and out the other as milky stench, or mustard poop. Oh the poop. The bigger they get the messier the nappies. My brother-in-law has warned me about the poo explosion, apparently it gets worse and can reach half way up babe's back. Toby is out of newborn nappies, though we still have a huge box left.

Other news

Bob has gone back to work. Nanny (my mum) is coming from Queensland tomorrow night - I can't wait. We are in the extension, sans one couch. The new kitchen is a dream. It is so clean and new and big and easy, you actually feel like making food and washing up. And the black granite bench tops with silver flecks hides food scraps beautifully!

There is still so much to do on the house. Bob has ripped out the old kitchen and found treasure - a 1949 penny and the skeleton of a rat. A BIG rat. William has decided he will have the old kitchen as his bedroom. I agreed we will paint it yellow. It has a lovely big window and afternoon sunlight. I'm thinking a lovely buttery pale yellow. Willo is thinking Spongebob Squarepants. (Not in my lifetime Sunshine)

We're waiting to financially recover a bit before we can finish off inside with skirting boards and archetraves, install a glass splash back in the kitchen, put windows in the laundry and toilet (boarded up for now) pave the verandah, install a new fence, pave behind the house, put in a driveway, landscape the front ... ah, the list is endless, but we'll get there. Who needs a perfect house when you have the one thing you never thought would be yours ... Toby!

I knew motherhood would be good, I didn't know it would be this good. I have never felt the love I feel for Toby, and it just gets broader and higher and wider and deeper. I now know what it people mean when they say, "I can't imagine my life without my child".

Welcome little GRIFFIN!!!!

2010-08-14T17:32:00.004+08:00

A poem from Toby:

Come over Griffin

I'll teach you some Stewie

We'll sink down some bottles

And get ourselves pooie.

What a glorious day, the birth of Griffin. J and T - you look exuberant, amazed, enthralled and just a bit shocked. All babes in blog land are special, but Griffin just a bit more so as we started our surrogacy journies together at the end of 2008, and here we are almost two years later, mummies at last! Jo and Tim had so many tries, and are the epitome of never giving up.

First time I've wore makeup since being home, then I watched Jo and Tim's video and cried off the mascara.

I kid you not, he can hold his bottle.

Look mum, "One hand". Okay, it's not for long and the bottle has to be almost empty, but he really is keen on getting the bottle from mum and into his own control. I think super-suction is keeping the bottle aloft more so than hand strength.

Playtime on the activity mat. Toby is entralled by the chicken.

Toby is 7 weeks old on Tuesday. He is changing so much. This past week has seen him suddenly more alert than ever. It's as if he has woken from a deep sleep and he has to take in anything and everything, all at once, in case he misses something. He loves looking at the lead light windows, and at the sky. His eyes are very big and inquisitive, and getting a paler blue. His new hair is growing back fair with a coppery tinge to it.

His neck is incredibly strong, and his favourite position is still over mum or dad's shoulder, but now with his little head up for minutes at a time. In fact, it's pretty hard to get him to put it down, and when you try it ends in a head butt to the shoulder. His legs are so strong even the doctor commented on them. he goes stiff when you change his nappy, and wriggles like a little worm. If you put on his nappy with stiff legs, it is too lose and pee leaks when you least expect it. (Like yesterday when i was skyping with Jo, he peed all over the desk : ))

We've taken a different tact with the fight for sleep. Mummy has been reading baby books, in particular the "sleep" section. I also Googled and found a load of information about CIO (cry it out) vs co-sleeping. Such diametrically opposed views, than ended in heated debate then personal abuse on some parenting forums.

If I had my choice I would co-sleep. But this is not possible for us because Bob is a very deep sleeper, whereas I will wake to the slightest snork coming from Toby. Bob also snores, so neither of us would get any sleep. The routine now is to let him fall asleep in the arms and wait til he's really out to it, then sneak him into his cot. He will stay zonked out for usually no more than three minutes, then realise he has been tricked, and it all starts. Waaaah! With pacifying and comforting and shusshing, he will settle but as soon as you walk away, it's on again. This goes on for around 45 minutes - cry, comfort, settle, sleep, wake, cry ... but eventually works.

Some books - and indeed, our child health nurse, tell you to leave babies to cry for short periods of time, to let them reach a crescendo of the wail, then they will settle. Toby doesn't. He reaches the height of his distress and it stays there. I refuse to let my baby cry it out alone in his cot.

It takes so much perseverance to get this little one to settle. If he was in our bed, he would be out to it in seconds and not stir until he is hungry. I guess that's the price we pay for co-sleeping in India, which was out of necessity rather than choice.

Apart from our hassles getting Toby into his cot, he is a lovely little baby, who is happy to be cuddled by anyone. He loves his bottle and grunts and makes the funniest noises, then does a full body wave, stretching and gooing, and writhing on the ecstasy of milk. He is settling in his vibrating bouncer, and is now interested in the hanging monkey and lion, and he likes the song. Mummy has "Here we go Loobie Loo" resonating inside her skull most of the time.

We are tired. Bob returns to work tomorrow, so I'll be Home Alone! This parenting caper is hard work, not because you are super busy or it is physically hard, but because every thing you do, you do from behind the 8 ball. Sleep deprivation makes things hard. But I'm not complaining!

For Jo and Tim, we found some useful parenting tips to help you along your way.

Stewie

2010-08-12T13:46:00.004+08:00

Family Guy - Lois Mom Mum Mommy

On to better things! Toby pics!!!

2010-08-12T00:43:00.005+08:00

How precious is this?!!!!

Have been busting to upload more pics of our beautiful boy. Here he is! Can one get a more perfect child than this? Of course you can, I am putting my hand up as being infected with gooey love and mummy brain. I used to think the term "mummy brain" came from hanging out with babies all day, and losing one's intelligence. Not so. Mummy brain refers to a parent (mother or father) who is sleep deprived, and can't string two words together, much less make a blog post.

Some facts about Toby:

Toby hates his cot. Here is Toby in the cot of horror. If you click on the pic you will get an enlargement and see the absolute look of disgust on his face. "Parents, you may well have gotten me into this cot, but once you take this pic I will scream!" And he did. Toby kinda reminds me of a baby called Stewie.

Toby thinks his big brother is kinda okay. Especially when he holds him up to the leadlight windows and lets him see the black and white shapes and light dancing across various angles. Toby looks a bit cross-eyed in this pic, he's not, and is struggling, as always, to keep his head up and active. He lost all his hair at the front and it is now growing back, a soft light browny copper coloured fur.

Toby and Willo.

Our soon-to-be newest parents, from Flight of the Humblebee, it's Jo and Tim, loving all over T-Boy. Is this not just the best pic of new parents ever? So fantastic to catch up with J and T after so long. So exciting they are in Delhi right now, and their baby Bee is almost born. What a very long road they have travelled.

How ready is Jo to be a mummy? Bliss bliss and a bit more bliss.

And one for the boys. He's taken guys!

What a lovely man, just so attentive and eager to learn, willing to accept my pearls of parenting wisdom with my whole six weeks of parenting experience.

So much to tell, so little time.

Toby had his 6 week check-up. He is just fine, perfectly healthy, in the 75th percentile for weight and the 25th percentile for height. Can't win em all, tall is the new overrated. Last week he weighed 5.22 kilos. Our little chubba bubba. Toby loves his food.

He hasn't quite cracked a smile, but is very close.

He has very strong legs. He can kick off his swaddle within 2 seconds flat, then his blankets shortly after. He kicked the GP today, even she was amazed at how strong his little legs are.

He is an angel when he has visitors but quickly Stewie-fies once the visitors have gone.

He has enormous eyes!

He still wants to be in the arms all day long. If cuddled, he is the perfect most calm baby in the world.

He can down 120mls at 2am in five minutes flat, but takes 45 minutes and messes around with the last 10 mls during day feeds.

He has learned to say: "Aaahh", and "Coo"

He is starting to mimic faces.

He loves his magnetic stackables.

He is not so keen on Willo's dancing stuffed penguin that sings, "Ice Ice Baby".

He is so very very loved : )))

Niceness

2010-08-10T21:44:00.005+08:00

Wanting some blogland niceness not nastiness, I will post a picture.

This is what it is all about.

Finally, the idiot's guide to getting out of Dodge

2010-08-04T19:05:00.015+08:00

Our guide to leaving New Delhi with your Australian baby.

https://docs.google.com/document/edit?id=1n4EM4F6HSVJbqtWYWCZQeL4Q6-sLEkBQJQpl-0SDjf0&hl=en&authkey=CLbTvpEK

I will put it on the sidebar.

Update: Now live!

Settling in

2010-08-04T09:20:00.004+08:00

Toby, asleep in his cot. At last. Bob was the golden parent who figured out how to get small boy to stay in his cot. It required a lot of back patting and shooshing, and some persererence when he would fall asleep only to wake up within five minutes and freak out.

William and Toby doing the Oreo relay. Apparently, this was the only way William could them into his mouth whilst holding Toby. Bless!

William and Toby. I love this photo!

Brotherly love!

Homecoming

2010-07-29T23:38:00.009+08:00

King Toby, master of the household, looking decidedly unamused. We're changing his name to Toady. He is the baby of no-sleep. He's been awake since mid-morning, had one nap for two hours between 2-4pm, and only because he was in mummy's arms, and he's still awake at 12.20am. Forget the cot, we just want some sleep!

His cousins (the way the family is spread out Toby is actually their second uncle or something like that) Keleni (11) and Peliata (9). After a it of Argie Bargie between the pair over who gets to hold hi, and "She's had him longer than me," I settled it by telling Peli he is no longer the baby of the family and he needs to set a good example to Toby. Keleni and Peli are from the Polish side of my family, their dad is Tongan hence their beautiful skin. They are Kata's younger brother and sister.

Keleni, Peli and Ioane (13). Peli was 4 when I met him, can't believe how big these kids are now.

Peli again. In his element. They are such gentle peaceful children when they're not being hell raisers.

Cousin Nat (actually my second cousin, I think - her mother is my first cousin) and Keleni. We had trouble getting Toby out of Natty's arms. My Aunty Claire knitted the most gorgeous little coats for Toby, but I think they make his butt look big.

Aunty Sally - Bob's sister. She pushed past her mother at the airport and got the first cuddle.

Finally, Grandma gets a turn, while Sally has to make do with Lucy cat.

Toby's new bath, it's an aquarium with a bouncy hammock insert. Toby loves it!

Before we left we had the pleasure of meeting Elektra and Eros, both home with dad. George took one look at Toby and said, "He is enormous". Oh yes, he is, next to this pair, and he is not a big baby. Elektra and Eros are so little, so doll-like, but they are quite well-covered, excellent colour, good healthy squawks, really just a small version of healthy little babies. They really look great. Elektra has a real "princess" look, as if she knows she was born to be doted on, and Eros is just a cute little boy with a really peaceful feel to him.

The flights were fine. In fact we have been more tired and crankier on other flights back from India sans baby. We flew Jet Airways to Singapore, and had the row with leg room - ah bliss. I slept most of the flight with Toby on my lap.

Getting out of Delhi was fine, with the exception of the trolley boy who commandeered our luggage, rolled it no more than 5 metres and asked for 200 rupee ($5). He got 20 rups. At every counter or security check you could see staff looking for the mother, just warning our female-free dads ... staff were confused when Bob handed over two passports for apparently one person, Toby was hidden down Bob's front pack. We attracted a lot of attention with our tiny baby, all of it good,- except for the loud cow on the flight to Perth who said, "That baby is far too young to be travelling" - and when they saw he was born in India, which is written in his passport, we let people assume I had given birth while travelling overseas.

Singapore to Perth we had basinettes and four seats to ourselves. Joy! Toby wanted nothing to do with being put in a small, lonely contraption of isolation. He spent most of the flight on my chest. He got to wear his first seat belt, and was looped in front of dad for takeoff and landing. There were no problems with crying as we took off and landed, we fed him and he didn't make a squeak. We had access to the business class toilets for changing, and had our bottles prepared and in a warmer so no hassles there. It was actually a lot easier than I imagined it would be, even with three big bags, nappy bag, handbag, backpack and pillow.

Anyone else travelling I recommend you take an adult-sized pillow with you. Put that on your lap and feed baby on the pillow. It saves a lot of arm ache and keeps baby close to your chest. We highly recommend the front carrier - it freed up a couple of arms - and while we thought baby can't breathe in a front carrier, they have a lot of space around their face, and they sleep so soundly being carried. But each to their own, we'll all find what works best for us.

The floors didn't get finished before we got home, so we are still confined to the little house and can't use the extension.... but we're managing. Amber isn't terribly interested in Toby, though she tried to swipe a dirty nappy ... "Mmm, food!" Max cat is also not interested, but we may well have a problem with Lucy as she wants to be near the humans, including Toby, all the time. For now she is not allowed inside unless she's supervised. Poor Lou Lou, but better to be safe than sorry.

Til next time, some Toby facts:

I love gazing at mummy and daddy, they have such interesting faces.

That cot is a prison, I will never go to sleep in there. Waaaah

What is this bouncer thing you keep putting me in and why does it vibrate? Waaaaah

I'm pretty keen on the big bed, as long as I am in someone's arms.

I refuse to sleep - ever! Waaaah.

There is such a thing as too many kisses. Waaaah.

PS. 1.30am: Thwarted! Toby in the cot. Bob reckons the reason he doesn't like the cot is because there's a nasty bear in there ready to attack you when you least expect it. (Disclaimer: he's not allowed to sleep with bears, or on his side, the bear was purely for the adults' entertainment.)

Moving on ...

2010-07-26T18:51:00.003+08:00

We are packing for our trip home tomorrow morning. I have selected Toby's coming home outift, a gorgeous little Pumpkin Patch number courtesy of the Chai Babies. Toby will be a month old when we hit Australian soil. Talk about growing fast, he pushing it to fit 0000. Thanks to the Tigerlilycats who provided us with all his little clothes, they no longer fit and will be passed along to smaller babies, as will the bag of "pink" I brought with us.

We will have been in Delhi for five weeks. What a whirlwind of a time. I so glad we had a week to prepare for Toby's arrival, and a whole month to get to know him. Here are some Toby facts (which I write more for me as I'm sure only a parent thinks this is interesting news).

He is looking at me and dad for longer periods of time, usually when feeding.

His eyes are slightly-almond-shaped limpid pools of light grey/blue liquid beauty that I can look into forever.

He is sleeping better, but not as much.

He wants to be Mr Awake boy during the day, so we get nothing done.

He is a cuddler, and his favourtie position is in the crook of our arms.

He turns his head to different sounds.

His hair is getting lighter, and is a light coppery brown.

He no longer cries when bathed.

We have no routine whatsoever.

He is so very loved, we would jump in front of speeding bullets to protect him.

I bid you adieu until Wednesday.

Home, home on the range ... where the cats and the Ambertron play

2010-07-22T00:09:00.020+08:00

"Yo peeps, I'm outta here! Now put that bottle back in my mouth!"

We have passport and exit visa - we are a comin' home! Thanks to QANTAS, not til next Tuesday. No other flights out. Oh well, we've waited this long, what's another four days : (

Learning to crawl.

Seriously, he can scramble up to my neck when lying on my tummy. Advanced child. True!

Bob and Toby modelling their new father-son pret-a-porter bonding outfit.

Meh, to baby carriers, they get in the way. Carry your infant for the first few weeks then strap 'em in, it's the only way to fly.

Like father like son. (Ahem . . . nice mullet Bobby)

A very tired mummy. Putting on make-up every day didn't last long.

Playing hard-to-get with Shilpi. Tobemeister likes the older ladies.

Grimace for the camera.

Look how long I am! This outfit is for babies 55cm and over.

Inheritance. The Sainsbury feet.

Calling out to the Indian surrogacy community

2010-07-21T13:52:00.004+08:00

Our little boy got daddy's cold and has been quite restless, snotty and generally unwell. He has seen the pediatrician, has no fever and his chest is clear, so he just has some saline drops up his nose before feeds. He is on the mend.

This worried me greatly, being my first-ever child, and being so little, it is emotionally wrenching to see such a tiny little lamb so distressed.

... which leads me to the title of this blog. Toby having a cold is nothing compared to the agony and ecstasy of our new bloggers Sam and Phil. I can only imagine how rough things are for them. Ben and his twin brother Zac were born on July 4 at 27 weeks. Tragically Zac has passed away and Ben is in Delhi Newborn Centre (Level 5 NICU) where he is stable and improving day by day.

Can our beautiful surrogacy friends from all over the world please head over to Sam, Phil and little Ben at http://samandphilblog.blogspot.com/ Please add this new family to your blog lists and support them with your love and prayers.

Toby is an Aussie!

2010-07-20T13:28:00.002+08:00

Our Australian friends - don your thongs, raise your stubbies and throw another shrimp on the barbie - our Toby is no longer a stateless baby, he is a bona fide Australian citizen. Hooray! Mummy and daddy are so proud of baby and country they could bust. Now give us a passport and let us get the heck out of here!

Advance Australia Fair

Australians all let us rejoice
For we are young and free
We've golden soil and wealth for toil,
Our home is girt by sea
Our land abounds in nature's gifts
Of beauty rich and rare,
In history's page let every stage
Advance Australia fair,
In joyful strains then let us sing
Advance Australia fair.

Beneath our radiant Southern Cross,
We'll toil with hearts and hands,
To make this Commonwealth of ours
Renowned of all the lands,
For those who've come across the seas
We've boundless plains to share,
With courage let us all combine
To advance Australia fair.
In joyful strains then let us sing,
Advance Australia fair.

Fun with Google Maps

2010-07-18T14:24:00.008+08:00

I have been spending my time, between entertaining Toby and dealing with bureaucrats, logging key locations in New Delhi on my GPS and transferring them to Google Maps. Feel free to comment. It is a work in progress.

http://maps.google.com/maps/ms?ie=UTF&msa=0&msid=109139755979202065601.00048b9a0d62042fa18fb

Update! Permanent link now located on sidebar! --->

Toby pics.

2010-07-17T23:07:00.002+08:00

I love this photo. Toby has grown so much in three short weeks. Look at that chubby face. He likes to lie on his side, and can scramble around 90 degrees on his sleeping mat. That's a 0000 he's packing full.

Lounge-Lizard - Toby's preferred place of rest at ILH, on the lounge in the lobby. This is the only place we have been able to get hin to sleep without bodiy contact. Of course, we have to sit in the lounge with him for long periods of time so he doesn't get stolen.

Bob's fantabulous self-feeding arrangement. If you keep his hands in mittens he can't hold the bottle and knock it off the bear. This method only works supervised, and only for short periods of time, like 20 seconds, before the teat falls from his mouth. Useless, really.

The happiest cleaner in Delhi. Indian folk seem to want to wake sleeping babies by clucking loudly and pinching their cheeks.

You have been warned.

Toby and his Lufthansa plane.

Thanks for all the comments about sleeping. Bob the magician got him off to sleep for a whole three hours, sans bodily contact. Bliss. I just cannot bear to hear him cry. His wails are not quiet and it's pretty hard to exercise controlled crying in a hotel with other guests and a baby who can tear through the walls. I don't think any parent can ignore crying when it gets to hysterical full-body, breath-holding cack cack cacks. That's our boy! We'll see a baby nurse when we get home and try to get some routine, but til then, will have to give in to Toby so we don't get booted out of here.

Still in Dodge

2010-07-16T23:37:00.002+08:00

We're still here. We've just moved over to india Luxury Homes B and B in GK1 as Lotus had another couple coming in. I do like GK1 much better than CR Park, but the honking of horns is the same and it grates at my raw nerves.

Toby is turning into a chubby bubby. Can we overfeed him? He is fitting his 0000 outfits nicely now, and is only three weeks old. Do babies really grow this fast or am I setting Toby up for a life of struggling with his weight? Anyway, he cries, he gets fed.

Toby has decided he will settle in only three positions now - over my left shoulder, which is now really sore being in the same position for ages; cuddled in the crook of my arm; or in daddy's arms - while being walked. When once he would zonk out and could be put anywhere to sleep, not now. As soon as the eyes are closed and the limbs have gone limp, if we put him down, within a few minutes he is screeching.

He now sleeps in my left arm, or no-one gets sleep, despite his bed being between Bob and I. Needless to say, the left arm gets cramped and stiff, mummy gets little sleep - I am alert for every sound or movement and just can't go into a deep sleep - and I am constantly on the edge of falling asleep, but am too overtired to pass out, even on Bob's watch.

We have the DNA test back - 99.994 per cent match to Bob. Our papers are at the High commission...

Time to get out of Dodge

2010-07-14T05:59:00.002+08:00

I want to go home. I miss my dog. I miss our bed. Imiss Autralian TV. I miss Australian drivers, and cleanliness and sterility, and uninterrupted power supply, and fresh milk, and cool weather. I miss not risking my life walking down the street. I have started wanting to belt the cars of arrogant horn-honking drivers as they whizz pass with no regard for anyone but their slef-sh selves and their own destinations. I am over-tired and over-everthing and I want my doggie.

Yep, time to go home, I've had my fill of India for now. We have Toby's birth certifictae and all the documents sumitted at the Australia High Commission. We're just waiting for the DNA test results to be released to the AHC, and to pay, then our little one becomes an Australian citizen. The only hiccup, apart from us being slack, is a mistake was made on the bank draft and the AHC won't accept the draft, so Bob is back off the the AHC tomorrow with a new draft. Lesson learned: if the bank scribbles out anything and does not initial it, your draft will not be accepted. We are talking one numberal, the offending number being 2, crossed through and correctly entered as TWO ... so minor, but nope, not accepted.

Another lesson learned for Aussies: if you don't have your statatuory declarations signed at home, the AHC will hit you up for 2320 rupee to witness your signatures. Like, that's over $60 - what a rip off!

We move to a new apartment tomorrow as this one is booked. Not looking forward to packing everything up and moving across town, but it is as it is.

Toby is a gorgeous as ever. I think we've worked out what to do with his mini-monster behaviour. We're not getting much sleep and taking it in turns to feed, cuddle, change and cuddle some more. This means one of us is usually very cranky, while the other has to keep things going.

It's 4.21am. I have Toby's 6am feed then I am off duty. It's tiring, but he's worth it.

We're applying for emergency passports and hope to have these and our exits visas by Monday, in tiome to make out flight home on Tuesday. It will be a push